My Way Home Is Through You
by emilie whoa
Summary: Why I was in Rio, I honestly couldn't tell you. But how I got here, and the aftermath of that decision, I could. They owed me big time after this.
1. Prologue

**A/n:** yes guys. **i am back.** i thought i could stay away. but being away from ff has made me realize that i can't write. i honestly haven't written anything decent since i finished The Possibility and the Promise. and after talking with Rachel, i realized i couldn't stay away any longer. So, here i am, with a new story and a new outlook on writing. i'm hoping desperately that you all don't hate me too much and you'll actually read my story and stuff. and yeah. i know this is short, but i'm just getting back into the swing of things, so you'll have to bare with me for a bit. thanks.

**a note:** this takes place in the middle of New Moon when Alice was supposed to have come back after Bella jumped off the cliff. in this story, though, Bella never jumped. so yeah, thats just something to take into consideration before you start reading.

**disclaimer:** don't own anything except the story line.

* * *

"Honestly, Bella, I don't know what you were thinking," Jacob said. He was going on and on about how irresponsible I was for trying to go cliff diving without him. It's not like I even made it off the freaking cliff, anyway.

I rolled my eyes and folded my arms across my chest. I felt like I was being lectured by Charlie. No, wait, even Charlie wasn't this bad. "Jake, just drop it okay?"

There were times – like right now for example – when I really wished Jake was normal, so that maybe, just maybe, if I punched him I would succeed in hurting him instead of me. This is what I got for having a werewolf for a best friend. Nothing was ever fair.

"I'm not going to drop it Bella!" His grip on the steering wheel of my truck was reaching a critical level. I was starting to be afraid for it. "You could have gotten yourself killed."

I resisted the urge to imitate him like a typical teenager fighting with their parent.

"Yes," I finally pointed out. "But I didn't. So it's okay."

Jacob growled and sighed at the same time. Or, at least, I think it was a growl and a sigh. Honestly, it was kind of an awkward sound. Anyways, he let the subject drop and kept driving toward my house. I was thankful that the discussion was over, even though it was more like Jake yelling and me huffing and puffing. I truly felt like a teenager for the first time in my life.

As we pulled onto my street, two things seemed to happen simultaneously. I felt Jacob stiffen and shudder next to me and I noticed a conveniently parked red BMW under the streetlight in front of my house. I knew that car, as much as I wish I didn't. I knew more about that particular one than I would any other model BMW. And I knew exactly who it belonged to.

Right as Jake slammed on the brakes, my heart started to speed up. The hole in my chest seemed to grow and grow until I felt like I couldn't breathe. This couldn't be happening. And yet, as much as I knew this pain would probably kill me, I needed to go back. I needed to know why they were here. Whichever one of them it was.

"Take me back," I whispered as Jacob executed the fastest U-Turn I had ever seen.

I could feel his eyes on me, staring at me as if I were already one of them. "Excuse me?!"

I couldn't look at him. I could only try to hold myself together and nod weakly. I had to get back to my house.

"No," he said, adamant. "Absolutely not. There is no way in _hell_ that I'm letting you go back there. Do you have any idea who that could be?"

"Yes," I said, suddenly gathering strength. "I do, actually. I know exactly who it is, and as much I probably don't want to see them, I want you to take me back."

"No. No, I'm sorry. You can walk."

"Fine," I was already half-way out of the truck when Jacob grabbed my arm.

"Don't die, Bella," he said, his eyes pleading with me to get back in the truck and drive away with him.

I tried to ignore the pain as I rolled my eyes and pushed his hand away. "I won't, and I'll be yelling at you later for stealing my car. See you later, Jake."

I slammed the door behind me and started the walk toward my driveway. I hadn't realized how close we were. I was only two houses away. I listened as Jake try his hardest to speed away, but my truck was groaning in protest the whole way. I would have laughed if I wasn't so focused on how much closer I was getting to my front door.

In the back of my head I knew I should have been crying or something. I knew I should have been doubled over in pain and trying to keep my body from crumbling to the ground. But honestly, as I slipped my key into the lock of the door, all I could think was, "oh dear god, please do not let this be Rosalie."


	2. o n e

**A/n:** this chapter took a little longer than i thought it would. i originally stopped when Bella when to sleep, but i decided to continue, cause i know how much i hate short chapters, and i'm pretty sure most of you do too. anyways, sorry if it sucks. i'm still getting back into the swing of things. oh, and if you have any questions, i'll be happy to answer them.

* * *

The only thing I was worried about at the moment was that this could possibly be the only Cullen (well, technically she was a Hale, but still, you get it) that despised my very being and she could very well be standing in the middle of my living room. I had butterflies in my stomach and I had no idea why. Okay, so maybe I had a little bit of an idea, but still. I was nervous, not sad, which was probably the way I had expected myself to react. I had a million questions running through my mind and I couldn't decipher between them all. They were a garbled mess in my head, just like the contents of my stomach. I felt like I was going to vomit. This feeling was worse than the pain. I'd definitely take the pain over this. Well…okay, maybe not. If I didn't have either of them, it would be better.

When I stepped into the entryway and flipped on the light, I definitely wasn't expecting the person who was standing in front of me. It took everything in me not to stand there with my jaw halfway to the ground. He had a big grin on his face, like he was honestly happy to see me. It was almost as if he were an old friend dropping by to say hello while he was in town for a business meeting or something. Very weird.

The next thing I knew, I was being lifted up into a bone crushing hug and I could feel my keys slipping from my hand and dropping onto the floor. And then suddenly I was shaking, and it took me a few seconds to realize he was laughing. Why, I didn't know, but it was a strange feeling all the same.

I didn't know what to think. I was relieved. I knew that much. And I knew that I should have probably been hurting more than this. I knew the hole in my chest should have been swelling and ripping open at the seams. But it wasn't. It felt as if it were never there in the first place. I felt whole. Complete. And all because of one hug from the man I used to (and probably should still) think of as my brother. I wanted to wonder how _he_ would affect me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not now. Not when this feeling was so amazing, so fresh and new.

"It's so good to see you!" He exclaimed, spinning me around in the hallway. "I have to say, you've looked better…and smelled better…but it's just so good to see you!"

He was talking a mile a minute. Literally. I almost couldn't keep up. Well, scratch that, I couldn't keep up. "Emmett. Emmett, slow down. What are you doing here?"

I felt myself being lowered ever so slowly – cautiously – and once I felt my feet touch the ground, I tried to regain my composure. This was all a little surprising. Very unexpected. Emmett pulled his arms away and took a step back to examine me more closely. Then he nodded, as if agreeing with his earlier assessment.

"Yeah, you have looked better," he said, completely ignoring my previous question. "Have you lost weight? 'Cause the whole, sullen, freakishly skinny girl look doesn't look that good on you. You need to eat more. Edward would kill you if he saw you right now."

And there it was. Just when I thought that maybe having Emmett here would solve the issue of giant chest holes, it was back again. At even the mention of his name, my arms were tightly woven around my torso and I was fighting hard not to double over in pain. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think of anything other than him. It was killing me.

"Bella?" Emmett's voice cut through my haggard breathing. I felt his hand touch my shoulder. "Bella, are you okay?"

And without my even thinking about it, I threw my arms around his neck and held him as tightly as I could. I felt his arms cautiously wind themselves around me and I was once again encased in Emmett's protective shell. I was safe here. I could feel the hole closing up ever so slightly.

"Are you okay now?" he asked when I finally released him. I didn't trust my voice, so I just nodded. I was thankful he didn't ask for any kind of explanation. I wouldn't be able to give it to him.

"Okay, good," he said, nodding once. "Now go take a shower, you stink. And then after that you can explain to me why you smell like dog."

I smiled, tried to hold in a giggle, but I couldn't. The sound was so foreign to me that I almost jumped its appearance. I laughed with Jacob, yes, but this, it was different. It was completely, one hundred percent natural. I missed it.

X.X.X.X

"Better?" I called as I started down the stairs. I was still rubbing a towel through my wet hair and I was dressed in my ragged old pajamas, but it had to be better than before. At least I hoped. Especially since I couldn't possibly see how I smelled bad. Jake smelled good to me.

Emmett smiled as I walked into the living room. "Yes, much better."

"Good."

"So," he shifted on the couch. "Explain to me how and why you reeked of werewolf. I'm curious."

How was I supposed to go about this? Was I even allowed to tell Emmett about Jacob and the pack? I didn't know. But since I had told Jake about the Cullens, wasn't it appropriate – or, at the very least, fair – that I tell the Cullens about the werewolves? I decided I might as well. They both knew the other existed, so it wasn't like I was uncovering a big timeless secret or something.

"Um, Jacob Black is a werewolf," I said, hesitating a little.

Emmett didn't seem all that affected by my news. He actually smiled. "So the Quileute's are wolves! Huh. I mean, we'd always suspected, because of the treaty and all, but we never knew there was any truth to the legends. We'd never met the dogs themselves."

"You're technically a legend, too, you know." Well, mythical creature. Same difference.

"Yeah," Emmett chuckled, "but still, it's weird when you think something's not true and then it turns out to be."

"You're telling me," I muttered. Oh how I knew how true that last statement was.

Emmett laughed again. Well, it was good to see I was still entertaining him. "So, Bella, what've you been up to? Other than hanging out with the enemy?"

Enemy? I asked myself. It made sense, I guess. But still, it was hard to believe that the people I once called family were the mortal – or immortal – enemies of the people I hung out with now. It was weird. I started wondering how it would work out, and then I realized that Emmett wasn't here to stay. Or at least, I was pretty sure he wasn't. I felt a stab of pain and decided to stop thinking about that altogether.

"What have I been up to?" I mused. _O__h, just struggling to live one d__ay at a time, you know how that goes._ "Not much, just school and stuff, I guess."

"Come on, Bella," Emmett scolded. "We both know you're lying. But, I'm not going to ask you to explain everything. I'm not as stupid as my family makes me out to be. I know what just the mention of his name did to you."

"I never said you were stupid. As a matter of fact, you're very perceptive."

He smiled. "Thank you."

I nodded in response. "So, what've you been up to?"

"Eh, nothing really." He shrugged. "Me and Rose stayed in Alaska for a while, but we're thinking of going to Africa again soon."

"Africa," I nodded, "nice."

"Yeah."

"Anything else?" My curious side was getting the better of me. I knew that once Emmett left, this would come back to bite me in the ass, but I didn't care right now. I wanted to know everything that was going on with them. I wanted to know everything about the world I wasn't a part of anymore. God, this was going to kill me when he went away.

Emmett went on for hours, babbling on and on about what had happened in the Cullen house since September. He strategically avoided anything that had to do with _him_, and for that I was eternally grateful. Emmett was better at this than I gave him credit for, and after a while, I realized that this was the first full on conversation that I had had with the vampire. I thanked god that Charlie had to pull a double shift at the station and wouldn't be home that night. It would have been awkward having to explain Emmett's presence.

He was starting to wind down on a story about a week long Monopoly game with Jasper and Alice when I started yawning.

"I'm sorry, I'm boring you to death, aren't I?" he asked, his face scrunching up a little.

"No, not at all. It's all really interesting, it's just that I haven't been sleeping well and it's already well passed midnight and…" I trailed off. I couldn't come up with any more excuses. I was just dead tired. I was about ready to fall asleep on the couch any minute.

Emmett sighed. "I'm sorry; I'm just not used to being around someone who has to sleep. Go get your rest. There are some things I have to take care of, anyway."

I suddenly started panicking. Was he leaving already? No, he couldn't.

"Bella," he grabbed my shoulders. He'd noticed my heart rate quicken, too. "Bella, I'm not leaving, I promise. I just have some stuff to do. I'll be back before you even wake up."

I looked at him expectantly. "You really promise?"

"Yes, I really promise," he smiled. "Now go to sleep so you don't pass out on me."

X.X.X.X

I was surprised that I didn't dream that night.

After I walked Emmett to the door and he promised me again that he would be back before I knew it, I trudged up the stairs and into my bedroom. I didn't even bother shutting the door, I was so tired. I was pretty sure I was asleep before I even hit the pillow. How I made it to the bed, I don't know.

When I woke up in the morning I felt like I'd slept for days. I had that feeling that I was just wanted to lay in bed and bask in the glory that I had a full nights rest. But I didn't get to do that. Because the second I started opening my eyes and stretching out my tightened muscles, Emmett started coughing. Loud. Louder than he should have, really.

"Okay, okay," I groaned, even though I was internally jumping for joy at the fact that he really did come back. "I'm up."

"Yes," he laughed. "I can totally see that you're up. You're out of bed. You're opening the door. You're down the stairs. You're eating breakfast." He paused. "Shall I continue?"

I resisted the urge to throw my pillow at him. "You can shut up now."

"Bella," Emmett sighed. "You're going to sleep your life away if you keep this up. It's already 10:30. Isn't it, like, a rule or something that humans have to be awake at the crack of dawn? I mean, that's how I was when I was human. At least, I think…"

"Times have changed, Emmett. It's only during school that we get up at asinine times of the day. It's spring break, remember?"

"No. I graduated, _remember_?"

I rolled my eyes dramatically, making sure that he could see, and finally sat up in bed. I threw my arms above my head and stretched again. Apparently I was still moving too slow for Emmett's taste because suddenly I was thrown over his shoulder and down the stairs in mere seconds. I didn't even have time to complain. Ugh, stupid vampires.

"Emmett, dear, put the poor girl down," a new voice said softly. I put my hands on Emmett's shoulder and lifted myself up enough to see what was going on. In front of Emmett, standing just outside my kitchen (of all places) was Rosalie, a smirk plastered on her beautiful face.

Was this just a Cullen family reunion that I wasn't informed of? Were Alice and Jasper going to be sitting in my living room watching the news and complaining about how the world is going to hell in a hand basket? Was Esme going to appear out of nowhere and start making me breakfast? I was suddenly scared. What was with all the vampires lately? Don't get me wrong, I was ecstatic that they were here, but a little heads up would have been splendid. I didn't understand what was so wrong about using a phone.

I coughed, cleared my throat, and said, "Em, you can put me down now."

"Oh, right," he said and I was gently put back on solid ground.

I slowly turned around to face the other vampire in the room. Was I supposed to say something to her? As far as I knew, she hated me. We'd never even really spoken before.

She beat me to it, though. "Hello, Bella," Rosalie smiled. She _smiled_.

Maybe I was dreaming. Maybe this whole thing was a construct of my subconscious and I had finally gone off the deep end. I wouldn't be surprised. I was probably in some drug induced coma-like state at some hospital somewhere in the middle of nowhere and I was committed by Charlie because he couldn't handle me anymore. Oh god, if I woke up and this was a dream, it was really going to suck.

"Uh, hi," I said dumbly. I felt like an idiot.

Wow. Rosalie: 1 Bella: 0. Go me.

Rose went on like I had said nothing. "It's good to see you again, although I wish the circumstances were a little better."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

Both vampires sighed, but it was Emmett who spoke. "We need your help, Bella."


	3. t w o

**A/n:** sorry this chapters a little shorter, but there wasn't much i could do about that. i'm really proud of myself, though. i've been on a role for the past day and a half. i'm already up to chapter five. -smiles-

no one reviews anymore. its depressing. i miss the constructive criticism.

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I should have known there would be an ulterior motive to Emmett and Rosalie's sudden reappearance in my life. Why wasn't I surprised? I couldn't possibly think of any reason _why_ a pair of superhuman immortals would need my help, but if they needed it, they must have _really_ needed it. And for them to just get right down to the point… There wasn't even enough time for me ask why Rosalie was here. I had no time to wonder why Rose was talking to me, let alone being civil. All I could think about was why they needed my help. And with _what_, exactly?

"Bella, look," Rose started again, but then stopped. "Um, maybe you should sit down."

I nodded meekly and made my way past her and into the kitchen. I sat down at the table and stared up at the couple in front of me. I waved my hand to gesture the continuance of whatever story I knew was coming my way.

"I don't think we should tell her yet, Rose," Emmett complained, touching his wife's arm. "I don't think she's ready. This was a bad idea. We shouldn't have come."

I wanted to say that I was sitting right here and I could hear everything he was saying, but Rosalie beat me to the punch.

"This is not a bad idea and you didn't have to come. You could have stayed with Alice and Jasper," she said and then sat down at the table.

"Wait," I interrupted. "This was _your_ idea?!"

"Yeah," she waved a hand like it was nothing and continued. "Listen, Bella, I know you're obviously hurting and I'm sorry for that. My brother is imbecile and I'd kick his ass for it, but, you see, I can't exactly do that when he won't come home."

I blinked. "Huh?"

"Edward's missing, Bella," Emmett explained.

I felt a sting at his name, but I kept my face even and calm. Or at least I hoped I did. "What do you mean, he's missing?" I asked.

"Well," Rose shrugged. "He's not missing per say. We know exactly where he is, actually. Bad choice of words on my husband's part. It's just that he's stopped answering our phone calls, and Alice's visions of him seem to be getting infinitely more depressing. And we're afraid he's going to do something stupid."

"And what do you want me to do about that?" There wasn't much I could do about something that was out of my control. He didn't love me anymore. He said it himself. How was I supposed to cheer him up or whatever it was that Rosalie and Emmett wanted me to do? I didn't understand.

"We want you to go with Emmett to Brazil and bring him home."

And this was the point where my mouth was hanging wide open and I was staring incredulously at the beautiful vampire sitting across from me. What did she just say?

After a moment or two I finally regained what little composure I had to begin with and I could speak again. "How is my going to Brazil going to make Edward come back?"

Rose looked at me as if I were stupid. "Why wouldn't he? He'd do anything if you told him to."

I couldn't help it, I had to laugh at that. "Why would he do something for me if he doesn't love me anymore? That's the reason why he left in the first place."

"What?" Emmett asked. The power of his voice made me jump a little.

I fought hard to keep the tears at bay. I was surprisingly good at it, too. This wasn't exactly my favorite subject to talk about. "He told me he didn't love me. The day he left, in the woods."

Rosalie scoffed, but not in a bad way. "Oh, he is _so_ in for it when he gets home. There is no way in hell he is going to get away with telling you that, Bella. No way." And she was completely serious; I could see it on her face.

"If you don't kill him, sweetie, I will," Emmett added. He looked really angry, and then he started pacing around the kitchen to calm himself down.

I had no idea what they were talking about. So what if he told me he didn't love me. It wasn't as if he was lying. He told me the truth and then he left. End of story. I was coming to terms with that. Slowly, but I was coming to terms.

"I," I searched for the right word. "I am so confused."

Rosalie sighed and reached a hand across the table and placed it on top of mine. "We'll just let Edward explain himself when you and Emmett go to Brazil." She glanced at Emmett. "You probably wouldn't believe us if we told you anyway."

"Whoa, wait, back up a second. Who said I was going?"

"You have to go, Bella. It's the only way we'll get our brother back."

"Can't I at least have some time to think about this? I mean, this is all a little sudden. I can't just pack up and leave without even telling anyone. What about Charlie? What about Jake?"

Oh God, _what_ _about_ Jake? I hadn't spoken to him since last night when he went speeding away in my truck. Which I needed to get back. Oh boy. This was going to suck big time. I needed to think about this.

"You went to Phoenix last year without much notice," Rose pointed out.

"Yeah," I replied, "because a vampire bent on sucking my blood was after me and I had no choice. I have a choice here. I have to think about this. I'm sorry guys."

"She's right, Rose," Emmett said. "Let's just go home and let her think about this for a while."

Rosalie nodded, obviously disappointed, and got up from the table.

"Home?" I asked, a little pathetically. Were they going all the way back to Alaska already?

"Home, Bella. As in Forks," Emmett reassured, smiling down at me.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"You know you can call us if you change your mind. We'll be here until you decide." And then they were gone. And I was alone again. Well, not completely.

X.X.X.X

As I sat on the edge of my bed, staring out my window at the endless amount of water dropping from the sky, I finally got around to thinking about this rationally. I would go to Brazil, I knew that much. I'd do anything for him, even if he didn't love me. I'd always love him and I'd go to the ends of the earth to help him if he needed it.

I didn't know how I was going to handle it, but Rosalie said that Emmett would be there. I would be okay with him, I knew it. They both were doing just fine holding me together right now; I had no reason to suspect that I would break down in South America.

There was a soft knock on my bedroom door and then Charlie stuck his head through. "Hey, Bells."

I smiled, turning in his direction. "Oh, you're home. I didn't hear you pull up."

He shrugged. "I'm surprised you're not over at Jake's. Where's your truck?"

"Jake kind of stole it last night. I was just going to call him to see if he would come and drop it off."

"Oh, well I was just going to wash up and head over to Billy's to watch the game. Do you want me to drive you over instead?"

"That'd be great," I smiled again. "Thanks dad."

He smiled wide and laughed a little and then left me to ponder my thoughts once again.

There was no point in me calling Jacob to tell him I'd be over at his house in the next half hour. He'd have time to run. And knowing him, he would. Catching Jake by surprise was my best course of action and the easiest way to get him to talk to me. There was no doubt in my mind that he was mad. None whatsoever.


	4. t h r e e

**A/n:** this is the longest chapter yet. i better get some reviews for this. or i think i might just cry. anyways, happy labor day everyone.

* * *

The drive to La Push took an extra twenty minutes due to Charlie's overly safe driving and the rain. I didn't complain, though, because I knew I was going to be subject to insane vampire driving soon enough and these were probably my last moments in a moving vehicle where I didn't think I was going to die. I'd never actually driven in a car where Emmett was driving, but I had a hunch he was just like his other two male siblings.

Charlie and I made a break for it the second he had his cruiser in the driveway and the keys out of the ignition. We ran straight for the front door and didn't stop until we were under the protection of the covered porch. It still wasn't enough to keep us dry, but we weren't soaking either.

Billy was at the door a second later, motioning for us to come in. "Sorry I didn't just leave the door open for you guys," he laughed.

"At least we're somewhat dry," Charlie laughed along, too.

"Jake's in his room, Bella," Billy said, catching me staring down the hall. "He's probably asleep, but I don't think he'll mind if you wake him up."

There was at least one reason I could think of at the moment as to why he _would_ mind my waking him up, but I was going to ignore that. "Thanks, Billy," I said, and started on my way to Jacob's room.

I could hear his snoring halfway down the hall. Yep, he was asleep alright. I didn't even bother trying to be quiet. There was no point; Jake wouldn't have been able to hear me over the noise anyway. I knocked on the door once, just to be polite and let myself in the room.

"Jake," I whispered, making my way over to the bed. "Jacob."

He wasn't waking up. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have much experience in waking people up, let alone teenage boys. I wasn't sure how easy or hard it would be to get him back into consciousness.

I poked Jacob's shoulder. He was still asleep. Okay, well that didn't work. I took a step back from the bed to think. He was a werewolf, so it was probably safe to say that he couldn't get hurt very easily. I glanced back at the sleeping figure on the bed, shrugged, and jumped.

It probably wasn't the best idea in the world, but hey, it got him up. And I could live with that, even though I was probably going to have bruises now. He was incredibly _hard_, a fact I chose to ignore while I was midflight Jake groaned, but only because he wasn't dreaming anymore, and opened his eyes.

"Oh," he said, "look at what the leech dragged in."

"Well, actually it was Charlie who brought me over here, but whatever. That's not the point."

"What is the point, then?" He wasn't even fazed by the fact that I was draped across his body. This was where it normally would have gotten awkward, but we weren't paying much attention to that.

"I need to talk to you. And beg for your forgiveness. Not necessarily in that order, but you get the picture."

Jacob rolled his eyes and pushed me off of him. Oh, now he minded. Figures. "What's up, Bells?"

I sat on the corner of his bed and stared down at my hands. "I'm sorry, Jake. I had to go back. For what it's worth, at least I'm still alive."

"Yeah," he laughed bitterly, "for what it's worth."

I could feel tears starting to sting my eyes. I didn't want Jake to be mad at me. I wanted him to be my friend, like he had been. It didn't have to all be vampires and werewolves. It didn't have to be either or. We could just be Bella and Jacob, but only if he let us. And he wasn't going to let it happen. His stupid instincts kept getting in the way.

"So which one was it?" he asked. I knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Emmett," I replied, sniffing a little. "And Rosalie."

"Are you crying?"

"No," I lied stupidly.

I felt the bed move and suddenly I was in Jake's lap. He had a finger under my chin and was lifting my face so I was forced to look at him.

"Why are you crying?" his voice was softer now, it didn't have the edge it held before.

"I don't want you to be mad at me! I hate it when you're angry; you're not the same Jacob."

"Oh, Bella," he sighed. "I'm not mad."

"You're just as bad of a liar as I am," I pointed out.

"Okay, so maybe I was mad, but I'm not anymore. I'm over it."

My eyes lit up. "Are you sure?"

He smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tightly. Jacob was my big teddy bear. I was lucky to have him. Even though in the back of my mind I knew he was just saying stuff to make me happy, it _did_ make me happy. He had enough common sense to know when it was acceptable to lie to a woman.

"So," he said when I pulled away. "What did the bloodsuckers want?"

I glared up at him. "They have names you know. Emmett and Rosalie."

"Yeah, whatever, don't push it."

I rolled my eyes. "They need my help."

"With what exactly?" His voice was wary, cautious.

I knew for a fact that Jake was going to throw a hissy fit when I told him about Brazil. But it was now or never and I preferred that he knew from me rather than hearing it third person from someone else. It was just safer if I told him.

"Um, well," I hesitated a little. "They kind of want me to go to Brazil."

Jake frowned. "What's in Brazil?"

"He is," I said.

He instantly knew who I was talking about. Jacob's jaw clenched and his hands became fists. I could hear the slight rumbles in his chest and I knew he was fighting hard to not phase right now.

"And why, pray tell, do they want you to go see _him_?"

"They want me to bring him back."

"You're not going, though, right?" Jake asked hopefully. "You wouldn't do that."

I slipped off his lap and stood up. "I have to," I said softly.

"No!" he yelled. "No, you don't! You don't _have_ to. You don't owe him anything. He left _you_, remember?" His eyes narrowed. "Or do you want me to remind you?"

I wasn't going to cry, I told myself. I wasn't going to let myself listen to what Jake was saying even though I knew he was right. I was going to be strong about this. And I was going to stick to my decision. I always stuck to my decisions.

"Yes, he did leave me, but that doesn't mean I still wouldn't do anything for him. Put yourself in my shoes, Jake. What if the love of your life left you and they needed your help later on down the road. You know you'd be there in heartbeat. You know you would."

Jacob groaned, frustrated. "It isn't the same, Bella."

"And why isn't it the same Jake? Because he's a vampire? Because you hate him with every fiber of your being? No, it's exactly the same. You just don't want to admit it. And it's not like you can stop me." I turned and left the room, slamming the door shut behind me. I had no idea where any of the words I had just spoken had come from. I felt like an entirely different person while talking.

I was still strong in my resolve that I wouldn't cry, and I was doing pretty well so far. It was taking everything in me not to sob, but I promised myself I wouldn't. I was far too angry to cry right now, anyways. It surprised me, usually when I was angry I cried, but right now I just wanted to punch something. Or someone.

"Hey Dad, I'll meet you at home," I said as I passed the living room.

"Um, okay!" he called after me. "Billy says your keys are in the ignition."

X.X.X.X

I was going to be okay. I just wouldn't think about it. That's all. Right? No, I was going to be okay. Jacob was just a little ticked off. Everyone got mad. Albeit, they weren't all newborn teenage werewolves, but Jake would be fine. Eventually. I hoped.

Wait. I told myself I wouldn't think about it. Okay, not thinking…

Yeah, not working out so much.

This new defense mechanism of mine wasn't working out too well. The whole sarcasm bit might work when I was talking to other people, but in my head, I only knew the truth. I couldn't hide from it.

I walked into my house, feeling like a complete and utter failure because I knew this wasn't going to work. I knew that as much I wished that I didn't care what Jake thought, I did. I knew that no matter how hard I tried to erase them, his words were going to haunt me and stay with me until I either died or got Alzheimer's. Whichever came first.

I sighed heavily and trudged up the stairs to my room. I was just going to sit on my bed and wonder how the hell all of this could have ended up happening to me. I was finally beginning to wonder how I got myself sucked up into this madness I called real life.

I didn't get the chance, though. I probably would have been scared out of my mind any other time, but walking into my room and seeing Rosalie sitting on my bed wasn't much of a surprise. I was used to people popping up out on nowhere.

She smiled apologetically as I shut the door behind me. "I hope you don't mind me coming over unannounced, but I wanted to talk to you."

Um, okay. This day was feeling way too Twilight Zone-ish. In what world would Rose ever want to have a conversation with me, let alone come see me voluntarily? "What about?" I asked, settling onto the mattress beside her.

"I want you to know a few things about me, and why I decided to take this matter into my own hands."

"Okay," I nodded.

"I apologize in advance for thrusting my opinion upon you, but assure you, Bella, that it's quite necessary for you to understand my side of things," she started, "I know you probably think I hate you, and I have to admit that I did, but you must understand _why_. I would give everything to be in your position, Bella. If there were a way for us to switch places, I'd do it in a heartbeat. No pun intended."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Bella, I know that you've been told how much I dislike this existence. I'd give anything to be six feet under, where I belong. Truth be told, I'm jealous of you, and a little angry that you would give up your entire life to become this," she motioned to herself. "I grew up in a world very different from yours. I grew up knowing that I'd marry one day and have children and grow old watching them live out their lives. I never knew any different. A husband and a child and a happy home were all I wanted out of life. If I had those three things, I'd be complete. But I can't have them now. You have so much ahead of you, Bella. You could get married, you could have children, you could grow old and watch your family with your husband, and yet you want throw that away to spent eternity with my brother."

"You have to understand my position, though, Rose," I said, interrupting. "I don't want any of that if I can be with Edward. I don't want a house, or kids, or a job, or anything, because none of it would be worth it without him. Living isn't it even worth it…not if he isn't here."

It was true, all of it. There was nothing in my life that I wanted to experience if Edward wasn't by my side. I could deal with never having children if I could spend even a fraction of a second in his presence. Because he made up for it. He was everything I ever wanted. I could deal with building up an immunity to human blood if he was there to support me. But, unfortunately, he wasn't. And he never would be.

"I still think you're crazy," Rosalie rolled her eyes and smiled a little. "Now, if you'll allow me to continue, I'll tell you exactly _why_ Emmett and I came here."

I shut my mouth and nodded and let her go on.

"My family, we think of you as one of our own. We protect you as if you were our sister or daughter, and we'd do anything for you. And Alice just kept having visions. And in every one of them we could clearly tell that you were in just as much – if not more – pain than my brother. Everyone's just been so lost without you; I can't bare it any longer. Nothing is the same without you. It's like you've come into our lives and forever changed us. If you'll pardon me for the modern slang, everything is out of whack. That's why I came. And why Emmett followed. I knew you'd probably freak out and run away if you knew I was the one to come see you, so I had my husband break the ice a little.

"You don't have to do anything I ask of you. I was just hoping that maybe you'd help, and maybe I'd get my family back," she paused and sighed, shaking her head a little. "I'm just too selfish sometimes."

I had no idea what could possibly cause Edward pain, but if my bringing him home to his family would help, then I was more than willing to do it. I would have gone to Brazil anyway, even without Rosalie's little speech. But I had to admit, it was a great feeling knowing that she didn't hate me. And although her being jealous of me did make me question her sanity, I wasn't going to say that out loud.

"I'll go," I said, finally.

Rosalie perked up and smiled brightly. "You will?"

"If it gets your family back together, it's the least I can do."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" she gushed and pulled me into a hug.

"Ugh. Can't. Breathe." I managed.

"Oh, sorry. Thank you, Bella. This means the world to me. And my family."

I shrugged. Anything to do to help. "So, when do we leave?"

X.X.X.X

I probably should have thought this through a little better, but it was too late to back out now, and I knew that Rosalie was depending on me. As much as I hated to admit it, I didn't want to disappoint her.

I stared out the window of Rosalie's car. We were on our way to the airport already. I knew they'd be eager to get me to South America, but I didn't know they were _that_ eager. We had everything in place for Charlie and I would be back by the end of next week.

Our cover story was that Alice and Esme were in Seattle for a little vacation and they wanted to steal me away for a little while. Alice had even called my father to tell him how excited she was to see me again. And to get his permission, of course. I found it kind of funny how we had almost the entire Cullen family in on our little 'rescue' mission, but that was how they worked. Everything was a group effort.

So, as we neared Sea-Tac airport, I was getting farther from the truth with my father, and closer to the lies I was telling myself about Edward.

X.X.X.X

Emmett and I parted from Rosalie at the security gate. She was taking a flight back to Alaska since her "work here is done." She said her goodbyes to her husband and then moved on to me. I wasn't expecting anything more than a good luck and a wave.

"Bring him back in one piece," she said. "And I know you don't believe me now, and I won't say I told you so when I see you next, but he loves you. He loves you a lot." And then she pulled me into a hug. If I wasn't surprised by her words, then I was definitely caught off guard with her actions.

I couldn't let myself believe what she'd said, though. Hope had failed me in the past, and I knew it was bound to fail me again. I wasn't strong enough for another disappointment. I wouldn't be able to survive if I let myself hope again.

Emmett led me through security and to our flight gate. I was silent the entire time, but Emmett just kept chatting and I kept listening. Or at least I tried. It wasn't like I was bored or anything, I was just sleep deprived. It wasn't Emmett's fault that I fell asleep, but it was his fault that we were on the red eye flight to Rio. He could have opted for a morning flight.

I must have slept for most of the flight, because next thing I knew, Emmett was waking me up to tell me to eat the breakfast they were serving. I didn't even remember getting on the plane.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily, accepting the cup of coffee that the stewardess was handing me.

"Our time?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah."

"I have no idea. All I know is that Rio is five hours ahead of us."

"Gee," I said sarcastically. "Thanks. That truly helps."

Emmett smiled. "You're welcome. We're landing soon, by the way."

"No way!" I gasped. "Was I really out for that long?"

He raised his eyebrows and laughed. "Oh yeah."


	5. f o u r

**A/n:** i might as well stop updating. i don't seem to get the feedback i once did. and maybe that's because everyone hates me for being such a bitch back when i posted all those other stories. i don't know. but whatever the reason, i feel like no one is reading my story.

anyways, sorry it took so long. i've had this chapter finished for, like, a week now, but i started school this week, so thats been hectic. senior year is so weird. i'm afraid to grow up. -sad face- and i just got a job, so i'm not sure how much time i'm going to have to write anymore. i'm trying to get this story done as fast as possible so that i have it all finished and i just need to edit and post and then you guys won't bitch and moan at me (even though none of you do anyway). i miss people complaining. oh well.

sorry its short, and its in third person. this is the first i've attempted third person in over a year and a half, so please please please tell me what you think.

* * *

They stared in awe as he passed. They always stared. He never paid them any attention, though. There was no point in showing interest anymore. No point in down anything, really. Not without her.

He sauntered through the streets of Rio de Janeiro, not exactly paying attention to where he was going. His mind was elsewhere. If he over thought things before, he was in way too deep now. She was constantly on his mind. Why had he left in the first place? He couldn't remember anymore. He couldn't even remember what he was doing in Brazil.

_Oh, yes,_ he thought, _to keep her safe_._ And look what good that did._

After his false lead to South America, he gave up all hope in finding Victoria. He was only making sure she wouldn't be a threat to the woman who had his heart, but not finding her was disappointing all the same.

Bella's face was conjured up once again in his minds eye. His memories of her could do her justice, even with his enhanced memory. The only thing that could ever do Bella justice was standing right in front of her and never looking away from her face again.

_um__ angel __tal__como__não__deve__olhar__assim__ pitiful_, a woman thought as he walked by.

He laughed bitterly to himself at the woman's thoughts. No one was an angel but Bella. She was everything that an angel should be.

Oh god, how he missed her. All he wanted to do was crawl into a hole and let this misery take him. It would be much better than trying to preoccupy himself. It wasn't working. It never did.

But as much as he wanted to see his love, he knew he had to stay away. It was for her safety that he was in such a miserable state. It was for her that he was even here. It took all his strength not to jump on a plane and head straight for Forks. But he could feel his resolve wavering. He knew it was only a matter of time before he was at Bella's feet begging her to take him back. He would gladly do it, too. He'd do anything to be with her at this point.

The phone in his pocket vibrated. _Not again, _he thought. He didn't even know why he kept the stupid thing around. He had no one to talk to, and it only tempted him to call Bella.

He was expecting a phone call, but it was a text message instead.

_Edward,_ it read, _whatever you do, don't leave the city, all right?_

What was that supposed to mean? The message had been from Alice. It was just like her to leave him something completely cryptic and mysterious. He couldn't exactly call her up and ask her. He didn't feel like talking to anyone.

As he headed down a back alley and into the outskirts of the city – where it was quiet, where he could think without the constant chatter in his head – he tried to make himself think of other things. Anything but Bella. He knew it would never work, but it was always worth a shot.

**note:** the line in Portuguese says; an angel such as he should not look so pitiful. or something like that. its all scrambled up here, but it was fine on Word. i don't know why it changed when i uploaded.

anywho...review!


	6. f i v e

**A/n:** i was supposed to post this last night, but my brother decided to show up and put my old hard drive back in my computer and i've been uploading the files to my new hard drive since i got home from school today. so sorry. this'll be the last update till friday or sunday cause i'm busy with work all day saturday. i'll try to get the next chapter posted on friday, but don't kill me if it doesn't happen. reviews are love.

* * *

When we got off the plane, I honestly didn't know what to make of everything. If I thought American airports were bad, then I'd clearly never been out of the country. I was just glad that Emmett spoke Portuguese, because if he didn't, then we'd probably be up a creek without a paddle. I definitely had to put that on my list of languages to learn. 

We both only had carry-on luggage, so we didn't need to go to baggage claim. Which was good, because I really didn't want to wander around this airport for longer than was necessary. I was afraid to get lost, and knowing me, I would.

Emmett grabbed my hand so we wouldn't get separated in the chaos of non-caffeinated morning travelers. He led down a few escalators and to a car rental place. I stood off to the side, watching as Emmett spoke to the woman at the desk. He was dazzling her – on accident, of course. It was so obvious. I shook my head and laughed silently, because it was much better than breaking down and crying. He was just as good at it as his brother.

X.X.X.X

Leave it to the Cullen family to spend ridiculous amounts of money on me even though I didn't want them to. Emmett and I had flown first class, though I slept through most of the flight so it didn't matter much, and now we were entering our very large hotel suite right in the heart of Rio de Janeiro. By the look of this place, it was no doubt that the hotel staff thought we were on our honeymoon. I groaned.

This was too much. Absolutely, positively–

"Bella, just look at the view," Emmett said, obviously taking notice of my wary expression.

I made my way over to the balcony and stared out into the South American morning. The view left me breathless. Our balcony was facing the ocean, which was east of us. The sun was already pretty high in the sky and there were some clouds, but it was still absolutely awesome, in every sense of the word. If it was this beautiful at ten in the morning, I definitely wanted to see this place at night.

"So," I said, turning back into the suite, "what's the agenda for today?"

"Alice called and said the cloud cover is going to clear up a little later, so we'd be better off inside," Emmett shrugged. "We're not going to be meeting Edward until tonight anyway."

"Meeting?" I smiled. "You make it sound like he knows we're here."

"It's a better way of saying that we're ambushing him, don't you think?"

"Eh, yeah, I guess. Anyways, what's there to do around here?"

Emmett was surprisingly good on his feet when it came to coming up with stuff to do. I guess that was one of the things that came out of living in the time he did. Everything was imagination oriented. And I never realized how easy it was to hang out with him. He was a great listener – which he probably acquired from having to listen to Rosalie for the passed seventy or so years – and he was extremely easygoing. Emmett was the type of laid back person that, if he were human and lived in California, would probably be one of those beach bum surfer guys that said dude at the end of every sentence in that stoner-like voice. Why I never hung out with him before, I didn't know.

We spent the day talking, mostly. Emmett was a good story teller, too. He told stories like they were meant to be told, with humor and intellect. Even the most serious of them he somehow found a way to turn it into something funny. If I didn't know better, I would have pegged this as the talent he carried over into his immortal life.

For the first time in hours we fell into silence. I wasn't sure if it was comfortable or not, I just didn't like not hearing something other than the city noise.

"If this weren't a hotel room, I'd ask if there were any board games," I said suddenly.

Emmett laughed and shrugged. "I'm sure we can scrounge up a deck of cards or something."

I ended up going down to the hotel gift shop and buying a deck, along with some snacks for me to munch on. I didn't feel like having a full on meal because I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep it down, but I knew I needed to eat something. Emmett paid for everything, of course. We'd actually spent about a half hour fighting over it and he eventually shoved his debit card into my hand and practically threw me out the door. I didn't much appreciate that.

X.X.X.X

"Hit me," I said, hoping to god I'd get the king or queen that I needed.

Emmett flipped over a card. And just my luck, it was a seven.

"Dang it!"

Emmett laughed. "Dealer wins…again."

"Okay, I give up," I shoved my cards across the table. "No more blackjack."

"Fine with me," he shrugged. "I have to call Alice soon anyway."

"She'll probably end up calling you," I muttered.

Emmett chuckled and stood up. He lowered a hand to me, but I just shook my head and stayed on the floor.

I didn't know if I was necessarily ready for tonight or not. I knew I wanted to be, but I also knew that I probably wasn't. Seeing Edward would probably kill me. Okay, so maybe not the seeing him part, but the part when he leaves again. Yes, that was the part that would definitely be my demise. I knew that having him leave a second time would shatter what was left of my heart, and yet I was still doing this.

I had truly gone insane. If I were smart, I'd tell Emmett right now to put me back on a plane to the States and never talk to me again. But I wasn't being smart. I wasn't going to be smart any time soon. I had to see him, even though I knew I would regret it later. Because if I saw him, then he was real, and maybe, just maybe, having that little piece of knowledge would be enough to help me carry on. Maybe. Or maybe not. I was going for the latter. Only tonight would tell.

I stood up and strode over to the balcony. It was twilight. The lights of the city were just beginning to turn on, and the night life was starting up. I could hear the faint sound of music coming from a club down the street from our hotel. Yep, Rio was just as beautiful at night as it was in the morning. It was definitely going to suck when I had to leave. Forks was just going to be even more depressing to me now.

I sighed and turned around to go back into the room, but I ran into a wall.

"Oh, sorry," Emmett laughed and picked me up off the ground. "I was just coming out to ask if you'd like to take a walk with me."

I rolled my eyes and dusted off my jeans. "Yeah, sure. Let's get this over with."

The large vampire reached down and ruffled my hair. "Such enthusiasm."


	7. s i x

**A/n:** i just want to let you guys know now that this chapter was only edited once, so forgive me for mistakes. and i probably won't be updating till next friday because i have work tomorrow and homework all day sunday because i'm already behind in my Trig class. ugh. i hate life.

anyways, enjoy.

* * *

We walked down the street hand in hand because I needed someone to hold on to. My nerves were getting the better of me already and I'd barely gone a hundred feet from the hotel lobby. Emmett whistled happily and pulled me along as we strode toward the ocean. I looked up with a questioning glint in my eyes and he just smiled and kept walking. I shrugged and followed, not because I wanted to, but because if I stopped, my arm would probably get ripped off.

Just when I thought we were going to walk straight into the water, Emmett turned left and stopped so fast that I ran into him, lost my footing, and went cascading to the ground.

"Ow," I muttered, glaring at the smiling vampire above me.

"You really need to watch where you're going, Bella," Emmett chided. "You'll kill yourself one of these days."

"I'd punch you right now but that isn't such a good idea."

Emmett rolled his eyes and pulled out his cell phone. A second later, he was talking to Alice. "Are we in the right place? Yeah, ocean on the right, buildings on the left. First street corner, I know. Let me look…yeah, there's a bench just ahead of us. Okay cool." He paused for a second while Alice rambled on about something. "Yeah, I've got it under control. Nothing from me, I promise."

I finally lifted myself off the sidewalk and stood beside him and watched him hang up the phone. "So?" I asked. "What now?"

"We wait," Emmett replied.

I frowned. "Why does that sound like creepy horror movie dialogue?"

"Because, Bella. You watch too many horror movies."

I shrugged. "Yeah, you're probably right about that." Horror movies tended to be the only ones without romance. Unless you watch Rob Zombie films. But even then it was just a lot of killing, sex, and getting killed while having sex.

I had no idea how long we were going to be waiting for. So, I leaned my weight against Emmett's side and tried to make myself comfortable. I was bored already. Emmett was playing Tetris on his phone, and I was left to listen to him get angry when he lost and the waves crash on the shore.

I tried my hardest not to think about what was probably going to happen within the next few minutes. It wasn't working too well. The only thing my mind was focused on was him. Why was I doing this? Why was I torturing myself in the worst way possible? I knew this wasn't going to end well, and yet I still came. I'd never denied that I loved him, but still, it felt wrong that I was here. My mind and my heart were torn. I wanted to be here, because I knew that when he got back to his family that he'd be happy (and that was all that I wanted for him), but I didn't want to be here at the same time because I knew that _I _ wouldn't be happy after all of this was over.

I was truly insane. There was no question about it anymore. I deserved to be locked away in a sanitarium for the rest of my life. This was masochism at its worst. This wasn't healthy. I was already hearing voices…maybe I was developing schizophrenia. I'd heard that it arises in the late teens and early twenties. Oh god. Oh no.

Emmett coughed and brought me out of my thoughts. Thank God for that. I didn't like the direction in which they went and where they were heading toward. It was best to be distracted.

Okay, distractions…distractions. I could always run and dive head first into the surf. I would definitely stop thinking about anything else but the cold. No, that wasn't good enough. I'd find some way to drown myself for sure.

I pushed myself off of Emmett and started pacing in front of him. If he didn't come soon, I was pretty positive I would kill myself from the waiting.

"Calm down," Emmett hissed, finally looking up from his cell phone games. "You're going to wear a hole in the concrete."

I sighed. This was totally sucking. "Did Alice tell you _when_ he was coming?"

"She said he should be coming soon."

"Ugh!" I groaned. "I can't take this anymore!"

Emmett stared at me thoughtfully. "You are a very impatient person, do you know that?"

"That's what happens when you don't have eternity to live."

"No," he shook his head. "It's not that. Alice is pretty impatient, too. Maybe it's a girl thing."

"And again with my promises to punch you if I ever get made into a vampire."

"Aw, come on Bella," Emmett looked down at me and pouted. "You love me too much to beat me up."

I raised my eyebrows and scoffed. "You wish."

"That hurts Bella," he said, tapping his chest where his heart was. "That hurts me right here."

I laughed, rolled my eyes, and looked away. Emmett laughed too and continued with his cell phone golf game (I guess he'd gotten tired of Tetris). And now I was back to being bored. Well, at least I'd stopped pacing. That was the one plus of that conversation. Oh, and I'd laughed. Laughing was always good for me. When I laughed, I thought of nothing else.

…And I think I'd just found my solution.

But then I ran into a roadblock. I had to laugh naturally. I couldn't just tell someone to make me laugh and then I would forget. Because if I told someone, then I'd think about it, and then the whole thing would be blown to shambles. Ugh, I hated being so complicated.

Just then, I heard footsteps. I was surprised I'd even heard them, because when I looked up, I couldn't see anything but a figure walking closer and closer to us. I took my place next to Emmett again and put all my weight on my right foot. My left hand was resting on my hip and the other was tightly woven around Emmett's.

Was it him? Was I ready for this? Oh god, I was never going to be ready. Ever.

As the figure drew closer, they became clearer to me. I could definitely tell it was him. There was no doubt about it in my mind. He walked with his head down and his hands shoved deep into the front pockets of his jeans. He reminded me of those emo kids I used to see at school in Phoenix.

He was passing the last building on the block when he stopped. His head snapped up, but he didn't look at us at first. I couldn't clearly make out what he was doing, but then I realized he was sniffing the air. He'd smelled me. Of course he had.

I glanced up at Emmett. He was looked down at me, smiling reassuringly. He gave my hand a comforting squeeze and then let it go. I looked back at Edward and my breath caught in my throat.

He was on our side of the street now, just a few feet away from us. His eyes were staring at me, drinking me in as if I weren't really here. He looked like I would disappear any second.

I couldn't blame him. I was doing the exact same thing. The Edward in my mind had nothing on the real thing, I realized. This Edward was much, much better.

Rosalie's words suddenly chose this time to replay inside my head. _He loves you…he loves you a lot._

I didn't know what to do. I just stood there, in the same position I had been in for the past ten minutes, and stared. But then I could feel the urge to cry creeping up. I swallowed hard, begging myself not to burst into tears and make myself look like a complete idiot. It was bad enough that I was gawking at him.

I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. I knew this wasn't a good idea. I shouldn't have come. Emmett could have gotten Edward back without my help. I wanted to turn and run right now. I wanted to forget this ever happened. But I couldn't. I couldn't even move.

"Bella?" Edward finally said. Oh god, even his voice was better in person.

I had to be strong about this. I couldn't cry. I couldn't be anything but the cold, hard person I knew I'd become. People seemed to like this more sarcastic version of me, anyway.

"Uh, hi," I said, my voice staying even and cool.

Um. Yeah. Go me.

I probably could have said something a little more intelligent, but thoughts seemed to just slip away from me at that moment. I hated myself for being so susceptible to him even after all this time, but I couldn't help it. Just looking at him I was dazzled.

"What are you doing here?" Edward asked.

I was surprised he hadn't already heard it in Emmett's mind. But then again, God only knew what he was thinking about right now. It could be lollypops and bunny rabbits for all I knew. But that wasn't the point.

"Um, well," I winced a little. "It's kind of a funny story."

Edward frowned. "Funny as in ha-ha? Or funny as in, it's not really funny it's just incredibly awkward?"

I had to take a moment to think about that one. "Well, it's a little of both, actually…" I nudged Emmett's side, clearly inviting him to jump in at any time.

The vampire at my side cleared his throat. "Why don't we go back our hotel room and we'll explain everything?"

Perfect. Just peachy. Did Emmett really want me to die of humiliation right this second? Oh yes, he probably did.

Edward gestured for us to lead the way and Emmett grabbed my hand once more and turned back toward the center of town. He was getting good at this big brother thing; he knew exactly when I needed reassurance about what was happening. I glanced behind me and noticed Edward was staring down at mine and Emmett's hands. He must have felt my gaze, because he looked up at me, a curious yet slightly angry look in his eyes. I didn't have time to think about why he would possibly be angry, so I just shrugged and turned back around.

"Emmett," I whispered, even though I didn't have to. I knew Edward could hear me perfectly.

"Hm?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Why can't he hear your thoughts?"

"Yes, Emmett," Edward cut in from behind us. "Why can't I hear your thoughts?"

Emmett laughed and completely ignored Edward. "I mastered the art of hiding my thoughts from my brother a long time ago, Bella. I just never chose to use it."

I smirked. Of course.


	8. s e v e n

**A/n:** i'm so excited; i'm gonna go on a rant you guys. okay, whats up with all these Bella gets pregnant with Edward's child stories?! come on people, the only logical ways that Bella could get pregnant are if she cheats on him with a human, or she's having the next Jesus. We all know she doesn't have the guts to cheat on our dear Edward. And Bella definitely isn't  
having the next Jesus. Sorry, guys.

anyways, i have work tomorrow and sunday. so basically i'm screwed. plus, i'm currently writing a novel for my creative writing class, and that's taking up the bulk of my writing time. so if it takes me forever to get our chapters, i'm deeply sorry. but...if you keep those reviews coming, then i'll know you're still reading and i'll keep writing whenever i have the time (and don't have writers block.)

have an amazing weekend you guys! i know i will. XD its raining!!

* * *

_"The best part of believe is the lie,"_ – Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year, Fall Out Boy. 

I was thinking that maybe this was the most awkward moment of my entire life. And if it wasn't, then it was definitely ranked way up there. Emmett had left me and Edward in the room alone. Apparently he had "business" to take care of. I knew, of course, that he only wanted me to do the explaining. And he probably wanted to call Rose.

_We'll _explain everything? Yeah, uh huh. What a liar.

This wasn't in my job description. I was told I was bringing Edward back to the States, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less. Simple. Fast. Done. Ugh. What had I gotten myself into?

Edward was currently seated directly across from me in the living room. Yeah, our suite had a living room. Figures. Anyways, he was staring at me, while I was trying desperately to keep myself from suffocating; I kept forgetting to breathe. I was definitely going to be doing some killing sometime soon. And my victim would be Emmett. Oh yeah, he was done for. I just hoped that Rosalie would eventually forgive me.

Edward cleared his throat, which caused me to look his way and I completely forgot what was going on inside my head. I hated how he did that.

"Bella," he started. "What are you doing here?"

I bit my lip. Where was I supposed to start? I was afraid that once I opened my mouth all that would come out was a bunch of garbled words that didn't make sense to anyone. Or I'd just ramble on until I went blue from lack of oxygen. That was a definite possibility.

"Bella." Edward snapped me back into reality. He was getting impatient.

"Okay," I took a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing. "I was sent here as a favor to your family."

He cocked his head to the right and raised an eyebrow. I took it as my cue to continue.

"It was supposed to be a rescue mission of sorts. Me and Emmett were going to bring you back to Alaska. To your family. You'd been here too long, and they were getting worried."

"You could have called," he said, as if he were pointing out the obvious. "I would have come back if you told me to."

"Yeah," I shrugged. "But Rosalie said that Alice said that you weren't answering your phone anymore. And she kept having these really depressing visions about you. I don't know. I'm just the messenger."

Edward growled suddenly.

"Don't be mad at them, Edward," I said, glaring slightly at him. "They're only looking out for their brother. Although, why I would need to come all this way just to tell you to go home, I have no idea, but if it works then that's fine I guess. As long as you're happy."

His face softened immediately and he shook his head. "I'm not angry with my sisters. I'm just realizing why Alice sent me that text message the other day."

Oh. Well that was good. As long as he wasn't mad at them, then I was fine. But it was still weird to me. Alice had given me the impression that he didn't even have a phone anymore.

I was surprised that this conversation was going so smoothly. I had expected myself to trip over every other word, and I hadn't. And I'd only rambled once, and it wasn't even for that long. I had to congratulate myself on that.

"So you were sent to retrieve me, then?" he asked.

"More like ambush you and force you onto the plane, but yeah, it's essentially the same."

He laughed and I just about melted. Damn it, I wasn't supposed to think about that kind of thing.

We fell into silence. And not the good kind, either. It seemed to get even more awkward by the second. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I stood up suddenly and walked out onto the balcony.

The night life was in full swing now. It wasn't even close to midnight and yet everyone seemed to be piss face drunk. I watched a pair of men walk down the street. They stumbled every few steps, straightened themselves out, laughed and kept moving. I don't know why, but I started wondering if getting drunk really made people as emotionally numb as I'd heard.

"Bella." The sound of his voice, even though it was so soft I'd barely heard it, made me jump a little. I didn't know why, but he was the only person who could ever sneak up on me. And now was definitely not an exception.

I clutched the area over my heart and turned around, taking measured breaths. I was trying to calm myself down as quickly as possible.

He smiled slightly, but still looked apologetic. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Not your fault," I replied.

His face got all serious again. "Why did you really come here?"

I frowned. "What do you mean? I came because I was asked to."

"How about we shoot for the truth this time?" he took a step closer to me.

Huh. Even after all this time he could still see right through me. And here I thought that he couldn't hear my thoughts. I was beginning to wonder if that was even true. He always seemed to know when I was lying. But then again, I was terrible liar.

I averted my eyes from his face. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"And again with the lying," he said, sounding a little frustrated.

I looked up at him and glared. "I'm not lying, Edward. I truly did come here because I was asked to. I came because your sister told me that she wanted her family together again. I came because she said you weren't yourself. I came because she came to me for help, and that's exactly what I'm doing."

"Alice needs to stop butting into people's business," he muttered.

"Alice didn't ask me. Rosalie did."

I'd never seen Edward caught off guard before. It was interesting. The look on his face resembled that of a deer in headlights. "_Rosalie?_"

I laughed. "I was just as surprised, believe me. Nice girl, though, I'll admit."

"_Rosalie?!_" he repeated.

"Hey, Rosalie is pretty cool once you get past the whole 'oh my god I'm so beautiful look at me look at me' thing. Which is surprisingly hard to get passed, I must say…"

Edward just stared at me for a second. "Wow, Bella. I cannot believe you just said that."

"Yeah," I shrugged. "Well, I did. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get some sleep. Our flight is in the morning. What time, I don't know, but I might as well get as much shut eye as possible."

I started to walk passed him, but he grabbed my arm. "No, Bella, wait. I came out here for a reason."

"To take in the city? It is a nice view," I nodded my head a little, agreeing with myself.

"No, I wanted to talk to you," he said.

Uh-oh. I could tell already that this wasn't going to be good. "Well, whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait till the morning. I'm really tired, Edward. I've had a long day." That was a lie. I just wanted to get as far away from him as possible. I knew nothing good would come of having him and me in a hotel room together. Maybe a door separating us would help a little.

"It really can't. This is kind of important."

I frowned. "Um, okay… What do you want to talk about?"

I was a little hesitant. I didn't want this to turn into him breaking my heart again. I wouldn't be able to take that. I didn't know how much there was left to break.

"Bella," Edward sighed and lowered his hand from arm. "I lied."

I was confused. "You lied about needing to talk to me? Okay, fine. Can I go change now?"

"No! Bella, you're not listening to me. I lied to you. In the woods that day."

I felt like I couldn't breathe again. What was he trying to tell me? What, exactly, had he lied about? He probably wanted to elaborate more on why he had taken interest in me in the first place. Why he had strung me along for all those months just to throw me away. I wanted to pass out, but my body wouldn't let me. I was more awake now than I had been ten minutes ago.

At that moment, Emmett stepped back into the room. He wore a smile, but the second he saw my face, it was gone. I honestly didn't know what I looked like, and I didn't care. I just wanted to hear what Edward had to say, even though I was positive it was going to cause me a slow and immensely painful death.

But for some reason, unknown to me altogether, Emmett started smiling again. His eyes shifted to Edward and his eyebrows did that freaky wiggling thing where it made them look alive or something.

Edward growled. "Emmett, please shut up."

What? He didn't say anything. Oh… The realization dawned on me. Emmett was thinking something that Edward apparently didn't like. Now I was more confused than ever.

Edward growled again, louder this time.

"Fine," Emmett held his hands up in defeat. "Fine, I'm going. But if you do it, I'm positive you won't regret it." And then he slipped out the door again.

Edward turned back to me, but he didn't say anything. He just stared, as if waiting for me to go first.

So I did. "Okay, you lied," I said. "I get that. But what did you lie about?"

He sighed. "I don't understand how you could have believed me so easily. It baffles me to no end that you would let me go without a fight. I expected it, too. I really, truly did."

"_What_ are you talking about?"

"Bella, I love you. I've always loved you. I _will_ always love you."

I just stared at him, gaping with the most unfathomable expression on my face. I was completely and utterly speechless.

* * *

**A/n t w o: **three guesses as to what Emmett was thinking. 


	9. e i g h t

**A/n:** i really hope you guys like this chapter. i rewrote over half of it three times.

and i'm really hating my life right now, so it might be a little longer than a week till i update again. sorry guys.

* * *

"I don't get it," I said once I had found my vocal chords again. What did he just say? "Where's the punch line?"

"Bella," Edward said, taking one of my hands in his. "There is nothing in this world that could ever change the way I feel about you."

"But…" I squeaked. "But…you…you said…"

He looked straight into my eyes. "I lied to you. I told you I didn't love you because I thought that if I did, then you could move on. You could have a normal life without me."

"So wait," I pulled my hand back and frowned. "Let me get this straight. You lied to me… _for_ me?"

"Basically, yes. What I failed to realize was that you are not like any other human I have ever met. I should have known you wouldn't react the way I wanted you to."

"Yeah," I replied sarcastically. "Go figure."

"I never wanted to hurt you, Bella. Please believe me. I wanted you to live the way you were meant to, the way you should have if I had never come into your life."

"The only way I'm meant to live is if I live with you." I could feel the tears pooling behind my eyes, but I pushed them back. I had come so far, I couldn't break down now.

Edward sighed. "I know that now. And I knew that then, but I still left."

"And lied," I added for him.

"Yes," he said. "I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you. And if you won't forgive me, then I'll completely understand. Because, truly, I don't deserve your forgiveness. I just want you to know that I'll never leave you again. I couldn't even if I tried."

I stood there, speechless, for the better part of five minutes. And then, I took a deep breath and said, "I think I need to sit down."

Edward fought to keep a straight face (after all, the situation was still in serious mode), but led me into the living room nonetheless. He sat me down on the couch and took a seat next to me.

"Bella," he said. "What're you thinking?"

I took several deep breaths, but they only served to make me a little light headed. I was glad I was sitting down or else I would have fallen over. "This…" I waved my hands frantically in front of me, "this whole situation… It's a little hard to digest."

"Understandable," he nodded.

"None of this seems real." I turned to face him. "Am I the only one who feels that way?"

Edward raised an eyebrow. "You just showed up on a street corner in Rio with my brother. I think I understand quite well that this is a little surreal."

"I don't know. I feel like I'm going to wake up any second now and Charlie's going to be yelling at me from downstairs to get up because I'm late for school or something. I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that this could actually be reality."

"Bella," he murmured. "Do you truly believe that this is a dream?"

"Yes!" I shrieked suddenly. "It's the only logical explanation for everything that's happened this week."

He laughed dryly. "When has your life ever been logical?"

I nodded once and shrugged. "You do have a point there."

"Exactly," he said, smiling crookedly at me. "So how is this any different? It's so illogical that it must be true."

I took a moment to let it all sink in again. He could be telling the truth. I could really be sitting in a hotel room in Rio with the love of my life and he could really be telling me that he loved me and he'd never leave me again. But I wasn't one to come to believe things so easily anymore. I wanted to. Oh God, did I ever. Everything was too good to be true, though. I had no solid evidence that any of this was none other than my subconscious playing tricks on me.

"Bella," Edward begged. "Say something, please."

I snapped out of my daze and locked eyes with him. "What do you want me to say, Edward? Do you want me to tell you that I forgive you? Do you want me to tell you I love you? Because you know all of that. You know I'd forgive you, even though it's the most ludicrous thing I could ever do. You know that I'll never stop loving you. But that's not enough. None of this is enough. I can't sit here and pretend that I was fine all that time. I can't pretend like nothing is wrong and watch you go again once we get back to the States. I can't do it. I can't let myself believe that any of this is real. My heart can't take it anymore. _I_ can't take it anymore."

Edward sighed, defeated. He knew that every word coming out of my mouth was the complete, untainted truth. "What do I have to do to make you believe that I'm really standing in front of you confessing my undying love for you and that I will _never_ leave you again?"

"Erase the past eight months of my life. Don't leave. Stay in Forks and never tell me that you don't love me. Make this all seem like some horrible dream." I was finally being betrayed. I was finally starting to cry. I knew it was only a matter of time.

The pain in his eyes was so evident that it almost hurt to look at him. I almost had to look away. "I can't do that Bella," he whispered.

"Then what_ can_ you do?" I bit my lip and choked down a sob.

"I can do this," he said, and the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine and his hands were holding my face to his. Well, this definitely wouldn't have happened, had I been dreaming.

This kiss was nothing like I remembered. It was a thousand times better. It was less guarded, too; more human. And just when I expected him to pull away like he always used to, he didn't. He pulled me closer. It was the kind of kiss that you felt everywhere. My whole body seemed to be tuned to his. I felt like I was on a roller coaster and I was going down a huge hill and my stomach had dropped down to my knees. This was the best feeling in the world.

I was the one who had to eventually pull away. My face was still in his hands, and I was gasping for breath, but I didn't regret anything. My entire resolve vanished the second his lips touched mine. I was completely under his control at this point. He was such a cheater.

"I love you, Bella," Edward whispered. "Do you believe me now?"

I took a moment to consider. "No," I said, shaking my head and smirking. "I think I need to be convinced again."

He smiled, too. "I think I can do that." And then he pulled me to him once again.


	10. n i n e

**A/n:** i apologize a million times over. i am so sorry for not updating sooner. i really am. please forgive me.

this chapter is pretty pointless, and mostly a filler. but whatever, its something, right?

again, i am sooo soo so sorry. life gets in the way too much. and so do stupid 15 big rigs that blow up in tunnels at eleven on a friday night. (google that shit. it seriously happened. took me three and a half hours to get home when it usually takes me thirty minutes. ugh.)

* * *

The feeling of waking up next to someone was so foreign to me that I almost started freaking out when I awoke. But I didn't, because I remembered who I was sleeping next to. I made a soft groaning noise and his arms tightened around my waist, pulling me even closer. I smiled and reveled in the feeling. 

"Is it morning already?" I whispered, trying to flip myself over to face him.

Edward chuckled and loosened his grip for a moment. I opened my eyes when I was finally facing him.

My smile widened. It was so great to see his face. It was even more wonderful that he was here, in this bed, with me. I was just about ready to die from the sheer amazing-ness of the situation.

"Yes, it's morning," he said, his voice like thick honey. It was almost as though he was just waking up too.

"Damn," I replied half heartedly. I was glad to be awake, for the obvious reason, but I also wanted to still be asleep because this was the first night in almost eight months that I didn't have nightmares.

I closed my eyes, trying to fall back asleep, but I couldn't do it. I was too hyperaware of Edward's gaze on my face.

"Stop staring at me," I stated, my eyes still shut.

"No."

I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks and I tried to hide my face in my hands, but Edward grabbed them and pinned them to my side.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"Nothing," he shrugged. "I just like seeing you get all embarrassed."

"Oh, gee thanks."

I tried to pull away then, but he wouldn't have that. His grip on me tightened.

"Edward," I groaned, trying to push myself away from him. "I have to pee."

He rolled his eyes, annoyed, and grumbled something about stupid human traits. I had to find that funny. He was the one who was insisting on leaving me human, after all. Where did he have the right to complain about the things that came with it? I kissed his cheek quickly and skipped off to the bathroom.

X.X.X.X

The airport was just as crowded this time as it was the last. Except now, it was the middle of the afternoon and everyone was a little happier than I remembered. They were either:

a. highly caffeinated

b. on a sugar high (which was probably true for most of the kids)

or (my favorite)

c. still drunk from the night before.

Either way, I wasn't complaining. Happy people made a happy Bella (albeit, Edward probably had more to do with it than anything, but like I said, I wasn't complaining).

Edward and Emmett led me through security and straight to the gate. Apparently we weren't wasting any time. Of course, I wasn't informed that we were kind of late and the plane was about to take off without three of their first class passengers. But, as always, I wasn't privy to such information. They didn't want to worry the human, after all.

Ugh. Stupid vampires. I would have hurried up if they had told me to.

So, I allowed myself to be dragged along through the crowded airport, apologizing to anyone I bumped into even though they probably couldn't understand me anyways. This was what I got for not knowing Portuguese. I was surprised that Edward hadn't just given up and started carrying me, but then again, that would give us too much attention (and probably look like I was being kidnapped – not that it already didn't).

We made it to the gate, Edward did a little dazzling (which made me kind of angry, but I'll get over it) and soon, we were sitting in our respective seats and the stewardesses were ignoring me (as usual) and giving my two vampire escorts too much attention (again, as usual).

I could finally relax. After being sent to the wrong gate once when I was ten and almost being flown to New Jersey instead of Seattle, the whole going to the airport and getting to the gate thing stressed me out a little. I settled into my seat and prepared for the long flight home.

X.X.X.X

"Nah uh," I said again, still shaking my head. "I'm not doing that."

Emmett slumped his shoulders and leaned closer to me, which meant he had to lean further over Edward, who was probably really uncomfortable with the situation as it was. "Please, Bella!" he begged.

I was smirking now, but only because of the look on his face. It was priceless. "Nothing you say will ever make me do such a thing, so just drop it."

"You're no fun," Emmett sighed and pushed himself away.

"No," I said, "you're just crazy."

I couldn't believe Edward didn't step in at all during the conversation. He probably just wanted to hear what I had to say on the subject.

I folded my arms across my chest and stared out the window. I wondered how long it would take us to get to L.A for our layover. Why we would go to Los Angeles for a layover in the middle of the day was beyond me, but maybe it wouldn't be so sunny.

Edward suddenly tugged on my arm. I turned to look at him. "What?" I asked.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, nothing. I just want to get home."

Edward nodded, knowing that wasn't the whole truth, but accepting it anyway. I'd never admit to him that I was afraid that once I was back in Forks, he would leave again. I was afraid that maybe he'd gotten his fix of me and was ready to move on again. I still felt like I was too quick to believe everything he'd said, and maybe I was, but I couldn't change anything now.

"You know I love you, right?" Edward whispered, his eyes staring into mine.

I smirked playfully. "No, I'm pretty sure I thought you hated me."

"Oh," he raised an eyebrow, "really?"

"Yeah, really. Maybe you should prove your love to me, just so I'm sure."

Edward sighed. "Not on the plane, Bella."

"Oh come on, where's your sense of adventure? And I never said you had to do anything inappropriate. I just said you should prove it."

He rolled his eyes. "You're insatiable, Bella."

"I take offense to that. I'm very satiable. I just like kissing you."

I was pretty sure that eight months ago those words would have never left the confines of my mind. But now that they were, I didn't know why I didn't say them sooner. I was bolder now. Why, I had no idea, but it was so much _fun_.

I heard Emmett stifle a laugh and it made my smirk more prominent. Edward took a deep breath and shook his head.

"You're impossible," he said.

"But you love me," I pointed out, poking him in the chest.

He responded by leaning over and pressing his lips to mine. I smiled. I knew I'd get my way. He just couldn't resist me.


	11. t e n

**A/n:** i'm such a horrible person. i'm totally neglecting this story and i feel so bad. everythings so weird lately. i'm in the process of finding a new job, trying to get over my senior-itis, and get over the crush i think i have on one of my guy friends. ugh.

if you forgive me, you should totally review.-hint hint-

* * *

I hadn't really given much thought as to what to expect when I got off the plane in Seattle. So when I saw someone running at me at an almost inhuman speed, I'll admit it, I flinched. And when said person collided with me…yeah, that kinda hurt.

I suddenly wasn't on solid ground, and I was no longer attached to Edward. Usually, I would attribute this type of behavior to Emmett, but since he was with me on the flight, I was pretty sure he wasn't this excited to see me. I looked down, trying to decipher who had just attacked me and stolen me from my boyfriend in front of baggage claim.

I was met with caramel colored hair.

"Esme?!" I shrieked, half hysterical. I was hallucinating, right? I had to be.

My entire picture of this woman was shattered into a million pieces in less than thirty seconds. The Esme I knew would never do a thing like this. She was calm and collected and always in control of her emotions. As well as her actions.

I was put back on the ground, and before I knew it, Esme's hands unwrapped themselves from around my waist and her hands were now holding my face. I was frightened. This wasn't like the motherly figure I had come to know just one year before. What had gotten into her?

I stared at her, waiting for something, _anything_, to happen. But she just stood there, smiling brightly, holding my face in her hands like there was no tomorrow.

"Thank you," she whispered suddenly. Her voice was so sincere and held so much emotion I knew that if she were human she'd be sobbing.

I frowned in confusion. "Um, you're welcome?" I hadn't a clue what she was thanking me for, but I thought it would be polite to give her some kind of answer.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you Bella?"

"Not a clue," I answered.

"Oh, Bella," she sighed, "I never thought I'd see you again."

I was still frowning. "So what was the thanking for?"

"Thank you for coming back. Thank you for bringing my son home. Thank you for everything."

"You give me too much credit," I said, blushing.

"I missed you, Bella."

And then she was hugging me again. I looked over her shoulder and gave Edward a pleading look. I was silently begging him to get his mother off of me. Not that I didn't want her hugging me or anything. It's just that she was hogging me. I had yet to even _see_ the rest of the family.

"Okay, Mom," Edward said, coming up beside us and attempting to detach us. "I think that's enough love for Bella."

Esme let me go, with a great deal of reluctance. She smiled at me once more, then walked away. But not before mumbling something about Edward getting all of my attention.

Edward grabbed my hand and led me the rest of the family. We stopped in front of Alice and Jasper. Poor Alice, I thought. She was bouncing like a five-year-old on Christmas morning. I could she wanted to do to me exactly what her mother had.

I shook Edward's hand out of my grip and held my arms out. I sighed dramatically and said, "Come here, Alice."

She gave a delighted squeal and ran into my arms. If we weren't out in public, I was positive that she would have picked me up and twirled me around. I thanked god we were still in the airport. She squeezed me tightly – almost _too_ tightly – and then let me go.

"I think we shouldn't have lied to your father. You should have just stayed here and spent the week with Esme and I."

Edward growled a little and pulled me close once more.

I tried to push away, but couldn't. "I think your sister has a point, Edward."

He looked at me, confused. "What?"

I smirked. "I'm just saying…"

"So, you would have rather gone shopping in Seattle than go to Rio?"

"Maybe," I shrugged.

Edward glared playfully. "You're evil."

"Well, you're a monster, but I don't go pointing it out all the time."

Edward was about to retort, but Alice interjected. "Stop it. You're worse than…well, I don't know who you're worse than, but just stop it, all right?"

Edward and I just shrugged and turned back to the other couple. I seemed to finally notice Jasper, then.

"Hey Jasper," I said.

"Hi," he replied.

"What? Are you going to give me a hug, or are you afraid you'll try to attack me again?"

He winced a little and I looked around, confused. Jasper should have known by now that I wasn't holding a grudge against him for what happened on my birthday. And if he didn't know, then he should have been able to at least _feel_ that I didn't have any resentment toward him.

"What? Too soon?" I asked, but then he laughed.

Edward surrendered me once again to one of his family members. Jasper stepped forward and hugged me, rather reluctantly at first. But when he realized he was stronger than he thought, he held me a little tighter.

I said hello to Carlisle next, hugged him quickly, and then moved onto the one and only Cullen who I hadn't seen yet. Well, technically she was a Hale, but whatever. That's getting too technical.

Rosalie stood there, a smug smile plastered on her gorgeous face.

"What?" I asked, though I was a little wary.

And then her face turned mocking. "I told you so."

I refrained myself from saying something completely sarcastic and rude. Instead, I smiled, blushed a little, and grabbed onto Edward's hand.

"That felt good," Rose said, smiling smugly again. "I think I'll say it again. I told you so."

And again, I was refraining myself from the comments. And sticking my tongue out like a child. It was tempting, though, I'm not going to lie.

X.X.X.X

After many arguments (most of them coming from me), I ended up in the Mercedes with Esme and Alice. Yeah, no Edward. Apparently it would be too weird for us to pull up to Charlie's house with my boyfriend (who was still my ex according to Charlie, and everyone else in Forks). Whatever.

I slumped in the backseat and tried not to remember the last time I was sitting here. I couldn't help but see the irony at the fact that the last time I'd ridden in this car I was forced to be separated from Edward, also. Oh yeah, definitely ironic. And while I was dwelling on this, I didn't even bother to observe that Alice was getting more and more impatient to get to my house.

We pulled up to Charlie's house and even before I could unbuckle my seatbelt, my door was being thrown open and Alice was eagerly awaiting my freedom from the confines of the car. I sighed heavily (more for dramatics than anything, though) and held out my hand for her to pull me out. It was much easier than trying to step out myself, and I knew I would have hurt myself in some way or another.

Charlie met us halfway. He smiled at me, glad to see that I was returned unscathed and then greeted Esme and Alice.

"Charlie, guess what?!" Alice gushed, obviously unable to keep it in any longer.

He chuckled softly. "What Alice?"

"We're moving back to Forks!"

"What?!" My father and I shrieked at the same time.


	12. e l e v e n

A/n: i'm not even going to bother with the excuses. i'm just going to let you yell at me and then read this (not in that order, probably) and then wait for me to get my act together and stop being such a bitch to my stories. ugh, i hate not having free time anymore.

i give you permission to hate me forever, you can even confess to wanting to murder me if you do it in a review.

* * *

Charlie shook his head like he was trying to clear his ears and make sure he'd heard Alice right. "Why?" he asked, incredulous. 

"Los Angeles is too –" Esme paused and searched for the right word. "– overrated. It's nothing more than a big city with too much traffic and too many celebrities that are a bad influence. It's not the environment I want my children to be in, especially with Alice and Edward still in high school."

I had to give her credit; she was really good at this. _I_ even almost believed her.

"Bella," Charlie finally acknowledged me, "did you know about this?"

I held up my hands. "I'm just as surprised as you are." And I truly was. I definitely hadn't seen this coming. Really, I didn't.

Alice skipped to my side and threw her arms around me. "Oh Bella," she said, making a complete show of it. "It'll be just like last year!"

Just like last year, huh? I highly doubted it. For one thing, I still Victoria on my tail. And another, I'd recently acquired a werewolf best friend. I didn't think that that little tidbit of information would settle well with my vampire family. Nope, not at all.

After promising Alice numerous times that I would head over to her house later that night to help her move back in, I was finally escorted into my house by Charlie. He followed me up the stairs but went his own way when we got to the top. _Thank god,_ I thought.

I shuffled into my room to unpack (which really only included me dumping the contents of my bag into my clothes hamper) and relax a little. I actually didn't even bother unzipping my bag. I just threw the whole thing in the hamper and forgot about it.

I was just about to fall onto my bed and close my eyes for a bit when the phone rang. I ended up falling on the bed anyways, but that's not the point.

Charlie called up the stairs for me. I groaned, picked myself up, and tried not to kill myself on the way down to the kitchen. My father really needed to install a phone line upstairs; it would be very beneficial to my health. And probably prevent a few ulcers for him as well.

I took the receiver from Charlie's hand and put it to my ear. "Hello?"

"They didn't hurt you, did they?" Jacob's voice asked.

I scoffed. "Yes, they threw me off a three story building but saved me Superman style at the last second and then tried to murder me on the airplane."

"This isn't a time for joking, Bella," he said seriously.

"It's never a time for joking with you anymore, Jake. Look, there's somewhere I have to be, so I'll talk to you later."

"Where do you have to go that's not in La Push?"

I thought for a moment. Should I tell him the Cullens were moving back to Forks? Or should I just wait and let him find out on his own? Ugh, this sucked, because either way, he'd find out. and either way, he'd be mad at me.

"I'm, um, helping a friend with something," I lied lamely.

Jacob huffed. "Okay, fine, if you don't want to tell me the truth, I understand. I'm probably overreacting anyway. The bloodsuckers are gone. You're safe now. They're gone, and everything is going to go back to normal."

I cringed. Jake didn't know how wrong he was. And it was making me feel even worse than before.

It took me almost five more minutes to get Jake off the phone. He was really beginning to be a pain. I felt guilty for thinking it, but it was true.

I had to search around my room for another ten minutes for my keys. In the end I ended up asking Charlie and he produced them, even if it was reluctantly.

"I don't want you home too late," he said.

I nodded. "I'll be home before midnight, I promise."

"Eleven," my father revised.

"Fine," I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Eleven it is."

X.X.X.X

I almost missed the turn off to the house. I was actually surprised I even remembered where it was in the first place. I hadn't been back there since the night of my birthday party.

I pulled my truck to a stop in front of the garage and trekked back to the house. It wasn't raining – for once – so I felt no need to hurry. But apparently I wasn't moving fast enough. I hadn't even seen her come up beside me, but all of a sudden Alice was grabbing my hand and tugging me, forcing me to pick up my pace.

"Come _on_!" she whined, pulling me harder, but making sure not to rip my arm from the socket. I was pretty certain that if Alice was human, and she was attempting to do what she was doing now, I wouldn't budge an inch. Unfortunately for me, she was an all powerful – okay, that might be pushing it a little – vampire, and as much as I tried, I couldn't stop my feet from moving.

Alice eased up a little when we reached the stairs, but once I cleared the last one we were off again. I didn't even have time to relish in the fact that I was home again. I was finally back where I belonged.

Alice pulled me through the front door and didn't even bother to let me walk up the stairs. She threw me over her shoulder and wasted no time at all getting to the second floor. Before I knew it, I was being deposited on a chair inside her massive closet. Oh god, this could not be good.

"What's this all about, Alice?" I asked finally, looking around me at the mess.

Alice shrugged and began pulling shirt after shirt from hangers and throwing it into a growing pile in the center of the closet. "I'm trying to decide what to send to Goodwill."

I blinked. "You're what?" Did that sentence actually come out of her mouth? Or was I just having a wishful thinking moment here?

Alice sighed and took more shirts off hangers. "I bought too many clothes when Jasper and I went to Europe a few months ago. I need more room, but Carlisle refuses to let me expand my closet."

"And I'm here because…?"

"Because with you here, you'll actually make me get rid of it."

I nodded, agreeing. "Yeah, you're right, I will."

A few minutes later Alice thrust a blouse in my face. "Do you want this?"

"Um, no, not really."

"Are you sure? Because it's totally cute, but it's really old and I know I'll never wear it again but I feel bad for getting rid of it."

I definitely wasn't in the mood to get suckered into accepting clothes from Alice that I'd never wear anyway. I knew there had to be more to her kidnapping me and keeping me hostage in her closet. It was a little too suspicious, if you ask me. I took the blouse in my hand and threw it over my shoulder and into the ever growing pile.

"Are you sure?" Alice asked again, staring longingly at her old clothes.

"I'm positive," I said, getting up from the chair. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I think you have this all under control so I'm just going to go see Edward."

Alice huffed, clearly upset that I didn't want to hang out with her. She let me go, though, and sent me up to her brother's room with a message that someday he better share me.

I smiled to myself as I stepped carefully up the stairs. I liked the idea that I'd be here for a while, and Alice seemed sure that I'd be staying for a very long time.


	13. t w e l v e

A/n: i went on a writing binge this morning. be grateful. this will be the last chapter for two weeks. because i quit my job today, and my last day is in two weeks. so after the 17th, i'll be free to do all the writing in the world. yay!

oh, and for the sake of the story, let's assume that Jake told Bella about imprinting in New Moon, okay? okay.

now that we're all on the same page, and you totally love me again for updating twice in one week, you're going to leave me more reviews than ever. yep.

* * *

Edward was moving around his room at a human pace, which I found quite interesting. He had a look of fierce determination on his face as he held a cardboard box in one hand and a CD case in the other. I leaned against the door jam and watched as he organized his collection once again. I knew it was probably a hopeless attempt, but I prayed that he didn't know I was here. It was fun to watch Edward without him knowing.

His back was turned to me, but I could tell he started frowning. He faltered slightly, stopping mid step. "Do you remember where Billie Holiday goes?" He asked.

Of course he knew I was here. He knew everything. Well, at least he did at one point. "Why?"

"I can't recall if I put it in the 1920s, or if I put it in my all time favorite's category."

"All time favorite's, I believe."

He turned to me and smiled gratefully and went to the far right shelf and deposited the CD. I expected him to keep going, because he still had a half full box of music in his hand, plus three more boxes on the floor by his couch, but he didn't. Edward dropped the box and made his way over to me. Before I knew it, I was being thrown over his shoulder and placed on the couch. I didn't even have time to try to fight him.

Edward hovered over me, his hands on either side of my head and his body just above mine. He was grinning, almost as if he was a child and he'd just won a prize at the fair. But the way he looked and our current position did nothing for my reaction. I wanted to remain calm, I really did. I just couldn't help that my heart began to race as I stared into his eyes. I couldn't help that I wanted him to lower himself a little further and then never move again.

I guess I was just extremely readable now, because Edward's grin turned into a knowing smirk, and he bent his head to kiss my lips ever so softly. I tried to remember to behave, but being without this for so long, I kind of lost control. As he started pulling away, I wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him back to me. I was so used to him ripping himself away from me at this point, that I didn't see what came next. He didn't pull away, he pulled me closer. The hand I had on his neck fell uselessly into my lap.

God, this kiss was better than any kiss I'd received in Rio. Hell, this was better than any kiss_ ever._ I could stay like this forever.But, apparently all good things come to an end, and eventually – and very reluctantly – Edward pulled away from me.

"Don't stop," I pleaded breathlessly. I couldn't prevent the words from escaping, but I didn't regret them, even if they sent my cheeks into a blaze.

Edward grinned and rested his forehead against mine. "I don't want you to pass out on me."

He did have a point there. "You wouldn't have to worry about that if you'd just change me."

"Are we going to start that argument again?" He shut his eyes and fought off a groan.

I reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. "Come on, Edward. You know as well as I do that you want to change me. Stop denying it and just do it already."

"Bella, I can't."

My eyes narrowed. "Can't or won't Edward?"

His eyes opened and bore into mine. The intensity of it almost knocked the air from my lungs. "Both," he said, his voice so soft I almost didn't hear it.

"I love you," I murmured, "and I don't want to fight with you. But you're going to change me eventually whether you like it or not. You might as well get used to the idea now and start preparing for it. I'm here for eternity. You're stuck with me."

"Have you ever thought about what happens after you turn?" he asked, still staring me in the eye. "Have you ever given any thought as to what happens when your human memories begin to fade? I don't want you to forget how we fell in love in the first place. I don't want you to forget any of the memories we have together."

"Trust me," I replied. "I know for a fact that there in no way in hell I'd ever forget anything that has to do with you." But did I really? Did I really know that I'd never forget coming to Forks and meeting the love of my life? I couldn't know that for sure, but I had to believe that I wouldn't forget something like that. I had to believe that I would keep that part of my human life.

He sighed, but dropped the subject for the time being. And the next thing I knew, he was enveloping me in another kiss. It almost made me forget what we'd been talking about.

X.X.X.X

I stepped through my front door at eleven sharp only to find Jacob and my father watching Sports Center on the couch. From the look of them, I almost expected a beer to be in hand and feet propped up on the coffee table. It was hard to believe sometimes that Jake was almost two years younger than me.

I rolled my eyes and started for the stairs. "I'm tired. I'm going to sleep," I announced and proceeded to my room.

I knew Edward wasn't coming by till later, so I didn't expect anyone to be in my room when I got there. I flipped on the light while kicking off my shoes and shutting the door behind me. I smiled to myself; sometimes I truly loved being able to multi-task. I pulled my hoodie over my head and threw it in the hamper on the floor of my closet. Followed closely behind were my jeans and bra. I slipped into the oversized plaid pajama pants I stole from Charlie a few weeks ago and turned my light off. Bad idea, though. I knew my room like the back of my hand, and I expected to be able to navigate in the dark, but me being me, I couldn't do it. I ended up tripping over one of my shoes and (thankfully) landing on my bed. I didn't make too much, but I knew it was enough for Jake to be alerted. I hoped and prayed to god that he didn't hear.

A few minutes later I was trying desperately to fall asleep, but I guess I wasn't as tired as I thought I was. I groaned and turned over in bed, hoping another position would change my conscious status. That's when I heard the knock.

"I'm asleep, go away," I mumbled.

I heard a muffled laugh from the other side of the door. "Then why are you talking, Bella?"

"Don't you know I talk in my sleep? I won't remember any of this in the morning, so leave now before I say something completely ridiculous."

"Can I come in?"

"No," I replied firmly. "I'm asleep, remember?"

I could almost hear Jacob roll his eyes. "Come on, Bella, let me in."

"No," I whined, dragging the word out as if I were a five year old. "Go away."

But Jake wasn't taking no for an answer. I heard my door open, the telltale creak sounding when it got halfway, and then I heard it again as the door was being closed.

"I thought I told you to go away." My back was still to my door, but I could hear Jacob making his way across the floor to my bed.

"Bella, you reek of vampire," he observed as he leaned over my bed to turn on the bedside lamp. I winced at the flood of light and fluttered my eyes open and closed a few times so I adjusted faster.

"So what if I do?" I asked, turning over and sitting up finally.

He sat across from me, as far away as the bed would allow and stared at me, scrutinizing me for a coupled minutes. Then, suddenly, his eyes widened with realization. "They're still here," he gasped.

I shrugged like it was nothing. "Yeah, they're staying."

"What?!" The look on Jacob's face was completely priceless. If we were in any other situation, I'd be laughing at him right now, but I didn't think right now was the time for my humor. "Why?!"

I groaned and shook my head. "I don't want to talk about this right now."

Jake reached forward and grabbed my chin so I was forced to look at him. "You're going to have to talk about it sometime, and right now is better than later. So, please explain to me why those leeches are back in Forks."

I scoffed and pushed his hand away. "I'm not obligated to tell you anything, Jake. So why don't you make like a nice werewolf and leave before I start screaming for Charlie to forcibly remove you from my house."

My best friend stared at me incredulously. "What _happened_ to you?"

"Nothing," I said, turning my head away shyly.

"You're back with him, aren't you? You got back together with that filthy bloodsucker!"

"For your information, he is not a filthy bloodsucker, and I'd prefer if you didn't refer to my boyfriend as such. Now if you would be so kind as to get out so I can get some sleep, I'll be very grateful."

"I don't get it, Bella," Jake said, his voice turning from angry to sad in a matter of seconds. "I don't understand what he has that I don't. What is it about him that is so fascinating that I can't provide you with?"

I always knew deep down that Jacob Black liked me as more than a friend. I always knew it, but I never acknowledged it. I thought that if maybe I ignored it, then it would just go away. Of course, I always thought it was just some harmless little crush. But right now, I was beginning to rethink that. And now, I felt completely horrible.

"Jake…" I tried to think of something decent to say. Something that wouldn't break his heart too bad. But I knew that no matter what I said, he'd still be hurt. He'd still feel betrayed.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't even notice him creeping closer to me. By the time I realized what was happening, I was pinned between him and my bedpost, and his lips were travelling infinitely closer to mine. The next thing I knew, he was kissing me.

This kiss was nothing like how Edward kissed me. His lips were too hot. They were too foreign and, well, wrong. I felt nothing except the overwhelming urge to push Jake away and never let him try anything like this again. So, I pushed with everything I had in me. I was about to start kicking, but he finally got the message and pulled away.

I guess I expected him to be a little understanding as to _why_ I didn't want to be kissing him, but he was mad. I could see the look on his face as he stood up from my bed and started pacing around my room.

"Why?" he asked finally, not stopping. "Why don't you love me?"

"Jake," I sighed. "It's complicated."

He turned to me, questions in his eyes. "Well then un-complicate it."

I sighed again and shifted uncomfortably in my bed. "I do love you. Or, at least I used to."

He raised an eyebrow in my direction and gestured for me to give further explanation.

"I love the old you. The you before you became a werewolf. The you that taught me to ride a motorcycle and was there for me when I needed someone the most. But now, you're just another clone of Sam. You're just another werewolf that's too concerned with loyalty and tribal welfare to look around you and see how much you've changed. God Jake, you're nothing like you were before. When you smile, it's not your smile anymore, its Sam's. You've taken on so much responsibility in such a short amount of time that you've almost completely lost the person you once were."

"Is that what you really think Bella?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm not done," I said. "You've been trying for months to get me to forget about Edward and move on with you. You're trying so hard to make me into something that I just can't be. I tried, Jacob. I tried so hard to feel for you what I feel for Edward. But I can't do it. I can't force myself to love someone when I'm clearly in love with someone else. And you're trying so hard to love me, too. You're forcing yourself to believe that you've imprinted on me and it's taking its toll on you."

I had no idea where all of this was coming from. But I knew it was all true. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that every word coming out of my mouth was the complete and utter truth. And from the look on Jacob's face, he knew it too.

He shook his head grimly. "You're way too perceptive for your own good, you know that?"

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, hanging my head.

He kneeled beside the bed so he was level with me and lifted my chin. "No you're not," he smiled sadly. "You're right. And I'm the one who should be sorry." He paused. "I may not approve of who you choose to love, Bella, but all I want for you is happiness. So I guess this is goodbye."

"No," I whispered, my eyes widening fearfully. I couldn't lose Jake. As much as I hated the person he'd become, he'd been a part of my life for so long that I couldn't bare to lose him now. "Jake you can't just leave."

Jacob leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Its time for me to move on. Have a good life, Bells. I'll always remember you." And then he was gone. Just like that, he was gone.

I always thought that the things that happened to me couldn't surprise me anymore. But as I sat in my bed, staring at my bedroom door, I was more shocked than I'd been in a long time. I was too astonished to cry, even. Had I really just lost my best friend? Had I really just lost the one person that was there for me in my time of need? The one who'd promised he wouldn't go. I felt like a weird pattern was emerging here.

I lay back down in my bed and curled into a ball. Suddenly the fatigue hit me full force (which, at this moment in time was immensely grateful for), and just before I drifted off to sleep, I felt the familiar pair of stone cold arms wrap themselves around my waist.


	14. t h i r t e e n

**A/n:** sorry if this chapter sucks. i'm working on the next two chapters simultaneously so i don't know how long it'll take to get them up but i'm trying to get them up as fast as possible. i have college essays to finish and those are top priority at the moment. sorry. i hope you don't hate me.

* * *

Everything felt so surreal when I woke up. Like the previous night hadn't happened and Jake hadn't walked out on me like he did. I felt like his reaction was much too…not Jacob. If it weren't for having my face snuggled into Edward's chest, and my arm being asleep because he was laying on it, I probably would've been convinced that it was all a dream.

"What day is it?" I asked, my words muffled by my boyfriends shirt.

"It's Sunday," Edward replied quietly, as if I were still asleep or something.

I groaned and tried to pull myself closer to him because I was certain that if I got close enough, we'd be able to just stay here, in this moment, forever. But, unfortunately, I couldn't. I knew I'd have to endure going to school tomorrow, and I'd have to survive without Edward for six, absolutely horrifying, hours.

"I hate Sundays," I said, more to myself than him, but I knew he heard it anyway.

Edward laughed. "Why? It only means tomorrow is Monday and the only reason you would hate Monday is because you have to go back to school."

"Exactly."

"School can't be that bad. You do have almost every class with me, after all."

My head jerked up and I pulled away to look into his eyes. "What did you say?" He was getting my hopes up and he knew it.

He smirked. "You heard me, Bella."

"You're coming back to school?"

"Of course I am. This is a small town, almost everyone has heard the new that we're back. I can't possibly not finish my senior year."

"So Alice is coming back, too, then?"

"Yes, Alice is coming back, too."

I sighed, content, and rested my head against Edward's chest once again. I didn't know how I got to be so lucky, but whatever I did to deserve it, I was eternally grateful.

X.X.X.X

Monday came and went, and school was not what I expected. I knew the Cullens would be the talk of the campus, but I didn't know people would actually voice what they thought to our faces (or our general vicinities). Edward and Alice took everything in stride, but I always noticed the slight looks of pain that washed over their faces when someone would mention how I acted in their absence.

I wanted to punch someone. Something. Anything. I wanted to make everyone just shut up and go back to ignoring us like they used to. I wanted, with everything in me, for Edward to never hear of how I was when he was gone. I didn't want him to know what he did to me. I didn't want to cause him that pain. But, I knew that would never happen, so whenever someone would say something, I squeezed harder onto Edward's hand in hopes that he knew I didn't hold anything against him. I couldn't.

I think the only person who actually seemed happy for me was Angela. She just smiled and waved when she saw me in the halls, gestures that I happily returned. That girl was going to go far in life, I knew that much. I wouldn't be surprised if she turned into the next Oprah.

Tuesday morning was mostly a blur. I didn't remember much except for the fact that Edward let me sleep in late (don't ask me why, I'm not the mind reader) and we both ended up being twenty minutes late for first period. Imagine the stares we got with that one. Oh, the assumptions of these pitiful teenagers…and our English teacher. Edward sent me numerous apologetic glances during the class, most of which I shrugged off because I knew the truth and that was all that mattered. Let the people talk.

I still couldn't get over what Jacob had said to me when I went off on him. It was bothering me to no end and I wanted to know why his reaction wasn't more…Jacob-ish. I wanted to know why he didn't put up more of a fight, like I knew he normally would.

"I don't see why you would even consider doing such a thing, Bella," Alice said, falling into step with Edward and me as we made our way to the cafeteria for lunch.

I looked at her, confused, trying to figure out what it was I was considering and Alice laughed.

"Okay, so I do know why you're considering it, but honestly, why would you step willingly into werewolf infested lands?" Alice paused for a second. "Okay, don't answer that."

Werewolf infested lands? Was I going to La Push soon? Edward's hand tightened around mine and it was beginning to threaten to cut off circulation. I reached over with my other hand and rubbed his arm, trying to reassure him that I wouldn't do anything to harm myself in his absence. I wasn't going to leave him for the werewolf; I was just going to try to knock some sense into the kid. God knew he needed it.

"I love you," I whispered, knowing he would hear me.

Alice had now moved onto more important issues (in her opinion at least – I really didn't care if there was a sale at Nordstrom's this week). She was talking a mile a minute and didn't seem to care that Edward and I weren't listening. I'd catch a word here and there but for the most part I was stuck in my own little world.

I followed Alice through the lunch line, not really caring about anything at the moment, not even noticing how the cafeteria got a little quieter as soon as we entered. I didn't bother to pick up any food because I wasn't hungry enough to keep anything down and I knew Edward would force me to eat something anyway. _Humor me,_ he'd say. Yeah, yeah, whatever.

X.X.X.X

I knew I wouldn't snap out of this weird mood I was in until after I went and confronted Jacob. I knew it and yet I was dreading it. I didn't want us to keep fighting, but by my showing up at in La Push, we definitely would. I wasn't sure what my going there would solve, but I felt like something needed to be. Something just didn't feel complete (if that even makes any sense at all, which it probably doesn't but bear with me here and we'll try).

Edward left me alone for the day not speaking but just being there, and I think that helped more than anything could have. His very presence was more than I could ever ask for. When the school day ended, he and Alice led me out to the parking lot and put me in the Volvo and drove me home. Except it was the wrong home.

Edward pulled into his driveway, stopping just short of running into the massive garage and cut the engine. I looked over at him curiously. Usually he drove me back to Charlie's after school. He took his keys from the ignition and handed them to me.

"I'd feel a lot better if you had a quick getaway car," he explained. "Just in case something happens."

"Because your Volvo can totally out run a pack of angry werewolves," I rolled my eyes. It was the most emotion I'd shown all day aside from comforting Edward at lunch.

I already knew the words before they came out of his mouth, but instead of hearing that melodic velvet, I heard Alice. "Humor us, Bella."

I shook my head. "I'm not taking the Volvo."

Edward sighed. "I knew you'd probably say that, so I asked Emmett if you could borrow his car."

"The jeep?"

"No, that's his special occasion vehicle. He has others. Come, I'll show you."

At this point I was curious, because I was wondering just how many other cars Emmett really had. I followed Edward to the other side of the garage, while Alice left us to go inside.

When Edward stopped, I looked around him and was met with something I honestly wasn't expecting. The first thought that came to mind was how in the world Emmett actually fit in that thing. At least it wasn't a Mini Cooper. I was actually surprised that Emmett would actually buy this kind of car. He seemed more like a sports car kind of guy. Lamborghinis and Porsches and Camaros and Mustangs. But no.

"This is worse than the Volvo, Edward," I said, staring at the Lexus sedan in front of us.

"Just think of it as a sixty thousand dollar Toyota." Oh yes. Because _that_ made me feel so much better. He smiled and took the Volvo's keys from my hand, replacing them with another set.

I shook my head. "Fine," I said, my voice taking on a hysterical edge. "_Fine._ I'm not even going to try to fight this because I know I can't."

Edward leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I hate that I'm actually letting you do this willingly, but you'll go with or without my permission and taking this car will make me feel just a little better. Drive safe, please. If not for you than for my sanity."


	15. f o u r t e e n

**A/n:** this chapter is probably the worst, most confusing thing i've ever written, but i tried. maybe you guys can figure it out. i'm so sorry that it took me so long, but hopefully it was worth it.

review and tell me what you think.

* * *

As soon as I pulled up to Jacob's house I knew he wasn't going to be there. For one thing, the entire the house was dark. And for another, his Rabbit was gone. I didn't know where he was, but I figured I would try Sam and Emily's place first.

I carefully backed out of the Black's driveway, still trying to get used to this stupid Lexus. My truck had power steering, but it was old and not as easy to maneuver as newer cars. Plus, smaller cars were easier to handle, which I wasn't used to in the least bit. If I moved even a fraction of an inch the car swerved dramatically. I almost gave myself a couple heart attacks on the way over here. I was never driving this thing again if I could help it.

As soon as I pulled onto Sam's street, I knew everyone was gathered at his house. I noticed Quil and Embry walking on the side of the road and thought for a minute that I could pick them up and drive them the rest of the way but then I remembered that Emmett probably wouldn't appreciate it too much if his car stunk like werewolf when I gave it back to him. So, I sped up a bit, driving past the pair and making the smooth left turn into Sam's driveway not a minute later.

I was dreading this. I turned the car off and sat with my hands in my lap, staring at the front door. Why was I doing this again? Oh yeah, because I don't seem to know when to leave well enough alone. Quil and Embry turned up the driveway and walked passed me, but not before giving me strange looks. Of course I didn't blame them. What was I doing here, the vampire lover? I sighed and tried to dig up whatever courage I had left before exiting the car and walking as slowly as possible to the front door. I knocked. And I think maybe that was my first mistake.

X.X.X.X

Jacob didn't send me away. He didn't yell at me or chastise me for coming. He didn't even look me in the eye as he shut the door behind him and beckoned me to follow him. We walked for miles it seemed. But then again, that was probably due to the fact that I was tripping over myself every five minutes. I didn't know what I was doing anymore; why I was following Jake. He hadn't even spoken to me when he saw me at the front door of Emily's house. It was like he already knew what I was there for. It was like he already knew his fate.

I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to go home and bury myself under my covers and never come out again. I should have just lived with the fact that Jake hated me, but I was stupid and I had to know the reason. I had to make things clear and final between us. Why wouldn't I just leave well enough alone?

Jacob finally stopped and I looked around us at where we were. We were standing at the edge of a cliff and for a second I thought Jacob had led me here to murder me. But I knew he wouldn't do that. At least I hoped he wouldn't.

He sat down on the ground, facing me and looked up expectantly. I sat in front of him, Indian style and started playing with a leaf I found at my foot. I didn't say anything, he didn't say anything, there was nothing for us to say. Yet, at least. I didn't know how long we were going to stay like this, but I was glad for it for the time being. The longer I could spend with Jake without fighting with him was time I could just spend in his presence. I had a feeling that after today I would never speak to this boy/werewolf again. He'd be out of my life forever. For some reason, that notion didn't hurt me as much as I thought it would.

"Bella…" Jacob said softly. His voice was slightly rough, though, like he'd spent a few hours screaming at the top of his lungs or he was getting over losing his voice. I wondered if he sounded like this because of me and then I chastised myself for being so selfish. Did everything have to be about me? No, it didn't.

I could already feel myself crying even though there were no tears yet. I knew the moment I opened my mouth that would change, but had to talk, I had to tell him…but what was it that I had to say? What more could I tell him other than reiterating the fact that I didn't love him?

I am a horrible person, I decided then. How could I ever call Jacob my best friend and then hurt him the way I have? I didn't deserve the way I'd been treated by anyone. I almost laughed out loud when I realized that no one was a monster but me. I was the one people should be staying away from. I only hurt the ones I loved.

"Bella," Jacob said again. He had gained a little confidence since the last time he's spoken and his speech was a little louder than before.

"I…" I sighed. What was I supposed to say to make any of this okay? How was I supposed to make this situation any better? I couldn't, I realized, and anything I said was just going to make matter worse. But I had to say _something._ "I'm sorry," I whispered, not looking up from the leaf I still had clutched between my fingers.

"No you're not," Jake said, repeating the same words he'd said to me earlier that week. He slipped a finger under my chin and forced me to look at him. The look on his face broke my heart. "I want to tell you something, Bella, but you're going to have to listen and you're going to stay quiet, okay?"

"Okay," I said meekly.

Jacob sighed and took a few moments to gather his thoughts. "What you said to me the other night, it was like BAM! in my face. You were talking and suddenly you were spewing words and sentences and everything coming out of your mouth was the truth and I didn't want to hear it even though I needed to. It was just a shock. I didn't want to leave you hanging there and I didn't want you to think that I just accepted everything point blank because I don't. I'm going to spend my whole life wondering what the hell is going on inside your head and even if you explain it to me now I still probably won't get it. I'll never understand how you can love some walking corpse and not me, but I know I'll have to accept that either way. I know that no matter how much I tell you I love you, you won't love me back."

"It's just puppy love, Jake," I mumbled.

"_Thanks._"

I rolled my eyes and slumped my shoulders. "You know what I mean."

I started tearing the leaf into little pieces and the next thing I knew it was completely gone. I didn't want to risk looking at Jake again so I started fumbling with my fingers, trying to figure out what I could do to distract myself from what was happening right now. Nothing was coming to mind.

"What would've happened if I had told you I loved you?" I asked. I didn't even know I wanted to ask the question until the words were spilling from my lips but it was too late now.

I chanced a glance at Jacob and he was eyeing me curiously. "What do you mean?" he questioned.

"I mean what would we do if I did leave Edward?"

"We'd be together, then," he answered. "And I would spend the rest of my life proving that I love you."

"But what happens when you imprint?"

"That wouldn't happen, Bella."

I laughed humorlessly. "But how do you _know_? I could leave Edward today and we could be together and then tomorrow you could come across some girl at the grocery store and imprint on her. I know it wasn't fair how I told you how I feel about you, but don't you think that that would be unfair to me? I would live my life in fear because the man I love could leave me any second. I'd be second best, Jake, no matter how much you tried to prove that wrong."

"Stop making sense, Bella," Jacob growled. "I'm really not appreciating it right now."

"I'm sorry Jake," I said, getting up from the ground and wiping myself off. "I'm sorry that everything I'm saying is the truth that you so desperately need to hear. I'm sorry that you obviously never thought anything through and you were so focused on one thing that you couldn't think about anything else. You're so young, Jacob. You may look like your twenty seven, but you're still sixteen. You've still got one thing on your mind and it isn't going to change for a long time."

What was I saying? I wasn't much older than him and yet I felt like I was his mother and I was giving him a life lesson he obviously needed. I suddenly felt like Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls with the word vomit. Once I started I just couldn't stop. This would be my downfall, I knew it.

"So this is it, then," Jacob said, standing up with me. "You're going to leave and never come back. I'm never going to see you again."

"It's for the best," I tried to reason.

He didn't say anything, he just started walking back to Sam's house and I followed.

I felt like I didn't get anything resolved. I definitely shouldn't have come and yet, I knew it was the right thing to do. I didn't know how any of this made sense, and I was pretty sure it didn't, but there wasn't much I could do about it. Jacob was officially out of my life forever. A part of me felt relief, because I didn't have to be careful around him anymore, but another part was definitely feeling his loss. Jacob was there for me when I needed someone. He put me back together when no one else could. I would always appreciate him for that, and I would always hold that close to my heart, but he wasn't that person anymore. The person he was now was only a shadow of the fun loving boy I used to joke around with. The Jacob Black I knew was gone, but someday, some girl would bring him out again, and she would make him the happiest man alive. I just wasn't that girl. I never was. And now he saw that.

X.X.X.X

We didn't say goodbye as I slipped into the Lexus and he into the house. There was one last fleeting look, I'm sure, but I never saw it. I couldn't. I didn't want my last image of my former best friend to be a look of sadness and disappointment. I wouldn't be able to handle that.

I drove back to Forks in complete silence. I focused so much on my driving that I couldn't think of anything else. I wouldn't allow myself to. If I did, I'd break down. And at this moment, I wouldn't survive that.

Edward was waiting for me when I got home. I didn't say anything as I kicked off my shoes and slid into bed, jeans and all. He cam over to the bed and sat down beside me, but I wasn't in the mood for that. I couldn't deal with this tonight, even though I needed him here. I needed his comfort and his presence, but I didn't deserve it.

"Not tonight, Edward," I whispered as I buried my face in my pillow.

The tears were coming, I could feel them. And as I listened to Edward slip out my window, they began to fall. Everything was hitting me now, and it was hitting me hard. I just lost my best friend in the worst possible way. What kind of person was I?


	16. f i f t e e n

**A/n:** yay! i finally finished this story. i'm so proud of myself. you have no idea.

sorry it took so long.

don't hate me too much.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, not alone, although I wished I was. I sighed, tried to pull the covers over my head and blot out the world like I wanted so desperately to, but he wouldn't have it.

"Come on, Bella," Emmett bellowed, throwing the sheets off the bed and into a heap in the corner of my room.

I simply groaned in response and curled into the fetal position. Please God, make him go away.

"Aw, don't be like that."

"Go away," I tried to slap him away but he avoided my blow. I really wished I had superhuman strength because I seriously wanted to throw him out of this house. I wanted to be alone, damn it, and Emmett was not making this easy for me.

"Get up," Emmett demanded, though his voice was friendly and thoroughly nonthreatening. "I'm kidnapping you."

I looked up at the huge vampire that was leaning against my bed. His face was dangerously close to mine and I would have screamed if I knew he'd never hurt me. "But I have school today."

"No you don't. You don't feel well today. You're staying home because you don't want to risk getting sicker than you already are." I knew he was joking, and making up a cover story, but the look on his face almost had me convinced. That scared me a little.

My eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Does Edward know you're doing this?"

Emmett shrugged. "Kind of. Sort of. Okay not really so hurry up before he can stop us."

"Where are you taking me?"

"I'm taking you to Volterra."

I was confused for a second, but then I remembered once that Edward mentioned Volterra to me. Wasn't it the place where those scary wannabe royalty vampires lived? The ones who thought they ruled the world?

"You're taking me to Italy?" I raised an eyebrow. I was surprised I wasn't more alarmed. Shouldn't I be at least a teensy bit more concerned about this?

"No silly," Emmett laughed and slapped my mattress playfully. "I'm taking you to possibly the best Italian coffee place on the west coast. And then we're going to the Ballard locks, because I love watching the fish ladder and I just know you will too."

I didn't even want to begin to question how he knew what Italian coffee tasted like (or any other coffee for that matter) so I opted for another line of questioning. "May I ask why you're doing this?"

"Because this may be one of the only times I get to hang out with you without Edward being there too. And I want to talk to you without him because I know you need to talk but you won't admit it to yourself." Emmett reached over and picked me up out of bed. "Now go get dressed so we get to Ballard before noon."

I rolled my eyes as I made my way to the bathroom. "Because with your driving it'll totally take, like, three hours, right?"

Emmett just laughed and settled himself on my mattress to wait.

X.X.X.X

I emerged from the bathroom not twenty minutes later and plopped down on my bed next to Emmett and proceeded to put my shoes on. It was quite difficult, I must say, since Emmett was in the middle of the bed, and he practically took up the whole thing. Not to mention the fact that I kept falling over because the bed wasn't level anymore.

"So how did you get in here anyway?" I asked, pulling the heel of my Converse out from under my foot. I'd finally gotten it on after God knows how many tries.

"Your father let me in," Emmett replied in a tone that suggested he did this sort of thing all the time. Because, you know, he was so buddy buddy with Charlie that he could do whatever he pleased.

I shot up and looked at him through narrowed eyes. "And he let you in my room? But you're of the male persuasion. Charlie never let's guys in my room." Emmett raised an eyebrow. "That he knows of." I added quickly.

"Charlie likes me," the giant vampire explained, a giant grin plastered on his face. "Plus, I explained the situation and he agreed completely. You need a little getaway without actually getting away."

"You told my father that my former best friend just happens to be a werewolf who declared his love for me and told me I'd be better off with him than my vampire boyfriend who I just rescued from the dumps in Rio and got back together with and that I went all mental and decided against my will to tell my former werewolf best friend that I basically hate him now because he's nothing like the person he used to be and that I'm in the process of having an almost complete mental breakdown and I don't even know why?!" I was gasping for breath by the time I finished. Holy crap.

"Well, I didn't word it _exactly_ like that," Emmett shrugged lamely, "but I'm pretty sure he got the gist."

"You're unbelievable," I growled and attempted to shove him away from me, but it was like pushing against a concrete wall. It was no use.

"Relax, Bella," Emmett said, gathering me up into a hug. "I told your father that you've had a lot on your mind lately and you need to have a mental health day."

I raised an eyebrow. "And he bought that?"

"I can be very persuasive, Bella."

"Charlie's still in one piece, right?"

"Yes," Emmett laughed. "Your father is fine. Now can we go?"

"Fine, fine," I rolled my eyes. "I'm ready. Let's get this show on the road."

X.X.X.X

The only car I'd ever seen Emmett drive was that Jeep that had tires as tall as I was. So seeing him driving a Lexus was, indeed, a very interesting sight. He reminded me a lot of a group of clowns in a Volkswagen Beetle. Strange comparison, but it makes sense if you think about it.

We drove in silence for the longest time, but once we hit Olympia and merged onto I-5, Emmett decided the quiet wasn't good enough anymore. It started with just humming, and then Emmett was full on singing a cappella, and when he got bored of that (and he was horribly tone deaf for a vampire) he finally shut up and turned on the radio. I smiled to myself and sighed in relief. I didn't know a creature that was designed to be perfect in every way could be so bad at singing. Maybe it was the fact that he only knew Britney Spears songs, but still, he _was_ pretty bad. Or maybe he was just doing it on purpose. Who knows.

Emmett also had radio station ADD. He basically kept one hand glued to the preset station numbers and every two and a half minutes (on the dot, I swear), he'd press the next button and change the station.

Finally, I snapped. "Emmett I swear to god if you don't stay on one station I'm going to explode."

His hand immediate jumped from button to steering wheel.

"Thank you," I said sweetly, turning to smile at him. He returned it, tentatively. I could tell he was afraid that I really would go full meltdown on his watch.

The station he left the radio on was one of those free radios, indie type things. Even though the volume wasn't loud enough for me to hear everything, it soothed me, and soon I found myself in an immensely better mood. Maybe I wouldn't need this quote unquote amazing Italian coffee, after all.

X.X.X.X

Ballard was a quaint little suburb just north of downtown Seattle. Its high school was home to beavers, which I thought was _so_ much better than the Forks Spartans (even though I totally loved _300_, but that's not the point). Ballard, as a town, was known mostly for the Hiram M. Chittenden Locks, but everyone locally just called them the Ballard locks. (Emmett let me Wikipedia Ballard from his phone during the drive.)

As Emmett drove us down Market Street, I couldn't help but fall in love. As much as it pained me to imagine it, I started thinking about how wonderful it would be if Edward and I could move here and start a family. It saddened me that I could never give Edward children or the life I knew we both wanted, but at least we'd have each other. I shook my head, trying to dispel the thoughts from spreading further. Instead, I distracted myself by admiring the sights just outside my window. We passed by a movie theatre, The Bay, and it reminded me of those old time theaters in small towns that only charged you a dollar fifty a ticket for movies that were already out on DVD but they'd just opened there. I smiled to myself and was thankful for the distraction.

About a block down from the movie theatre, Emmett stopped at a stoplight and turned left onto a side street. We drove a little further, and then on the right hand side I saw the sign: Volterra. Huh, so Emmett wasn't lying. I was suddenly excited, and I didn't even know why. I felt like a tourist in a foreign country (after all, the smallest town I'd ever lived in was Forks and it was a city, not a suburb).

Emmett skillfully parallel parked and, ever the gentlemen, opened the passenger door for me. I would have thought it ran in the family, but since Edward and Emmett weren't technically related by blood, it wouldn't work out so well. I suppose Esme had instilled some kind of manners in her children, though. He paid for the parking meter, giving us twenty minutes and then we were off.

We walked arm in arm into the coffee shop and stood back, examining the menu. Emmett would bend down every so often and whisper a suggestion in my ear, but I'd brush him off. His opinion was not needed at the moment. Eventually, I decided on the largest Italian soda – piña colada, because I feeling a little experimental today – they could give me, since I wasn't particularly in the mood for coffee right now. Emmett handed over a crisp ten dollar bill, after many a protest from me, of course, and one of the barista's handed me my drink.

I sipped at my drink while being led back to the car. I had to admit, this was pretty amazing. As Emmett opened my door for me, I shoved the cup in his face. "Wanna taste?" I asked, smiling brightly.

Emmett grimaced and pushed my hand away lightly. "No thanks," he replied curtly.

I laughed and stepped into the vehicle.

Emmett executed a perfect U-turn and we made our way back to Market Street. He made a left and continued down until the road forked and he veered left. Not two minutes later we were pulling into a parking spot in front of a huge wrought iron fence and sign that read "Hiram M. Chittenden Locks". We were parked near the end of the lot, next to a quaint little restaurant slash bar called _The Lock Spot_. If I got hungry, I'd have to suggest Emmett take me there.

Said vampire got out of the car once again and was opening my door in no time at all. He grabbed my drink out of my hand so I would spill it getting out and handed it back to me when he was sure I was balanced.

"Come on," he said, taking hold of my hand and pulling me along. I'd never seen Emmett look so excited.

We walked hand in hand through the gardens and past the administration buildings until we reached the actual locks. At the moment, there weren't any boats going through, but it was still an amazing sight to see. I'd seen picture of the Panama Canal once, and even though the Ballard locks were ten times smaller, it was still just as cool.

Emmett tugged on my hand again and we began walking, following the signs that pictured a small fish jumping up a ladder of water. We crossed a couple of bridges, walked down a few flights of stairs and then into a large concrete room with windows under water. Emmett continued to lead me down a couple more steps and then he sat me down on a bench in front of a large window. We sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the fish swim by.

"You know," Emmett said eventually, "I'm really glad you finally put the mutt in his place."

I glared at him. "The mutt has a name."

"Sorry." He rolled his eyes. "I'm glad you put Jacob in his place."

I sighed. Perhaps Emmett was right and it was time to tell Jacob what I truly thought. Maybe we weren't even meant to be friends. But then again, I couldn't help but feel so guilty it almost made me sick. I loved Jacob, that much was true, but I hated who he had become since his transformation.

It was likely that it wasn't only him that changed. I had to have been altered in some way, also. So maybe it wasn't just Jake. Maybe it was a combination of things and events and whatnot that led to what happened.

I smiled to myself.

Justification: one.

Truth: owned.

"I wish I wasn't so cruel," I said out of nowhere.

Emmett had to stop himself from laughing. "You were not cruel, Bella. You were simply telling the truth. The truth that needed to be said. Stop beating yourself up already."

"I can't help it, Em. Jake was there for me through one of the hardest times in my life. It's really hard to just let that go like it was nothing. It's hard to disregard all the time we spent together and how close we got."

"Bella, I know it's hard. But don't you realize that you were going to have to do it eventually, don't you? When you become a vampire you're going to have to say goodbye to everyone and everything you've ever known and you won't be able to look back. If you're having this hard of a time saying goodbye to a little werewolf, then maybe you shouldn't be considering immortality so much."

I wanted to punch him. "You don't get it, do you?"

"No, I really don't, Bella. Enlighten me."

"I can't let this go because of the way I said goodbye. I know that what I said was the right thing, but I keep running it through my mind and I keep wishing that there was some other way I could have said it. Not nicer, necessarily, but in a way that wasn't so hostile. I wish I couldn't have been able to hug him and say we had a good run and to have a nice life. I wish I could have left with a smile instead of practically in tears." I paused to catch my breath. "There is nothing in my life I regret more than the way I walked out of Jacob Black's life. I just…I wish…I don't know. My brain is all scrambled and fried right now. I don't want to think anymore. I just want to be happy and hopefully forget this ever happened."

I buried my head in my hands and tried my hardest not to cry. I'd been doing that too much lately and I was surprised I even had tears left. I felt Emmett grab in his arm and bury me in his side.

He rubbed his hand along my arm. "You shouldn't regret it, Bella. If yesterday had gone any differently you know you wouldn't have been able to say goodbye. As much as it hurt you, yesterday was a good way to gain closure. You probably won't see it for a little while, but eventually you will and eventually you'll be grateful for it."

I sighed. Emmet was right. I just didn't want to admit it out loud just yet.

"Thanks," I mumbled into his side. "I really did need the mental health day."

The burly vampire holding me shook with silent laughter. "Told you so."

We sat and watched the fish for a little while longer and then decided it was best to be heading back to Forks. On the car ride home, Emmett and I fought over radio stations for a bit and then finally couldn't take it any longer and turned it off completely.

"Can I borrow your cell phone?" I asked suddenly.

Emmett handed it over silently.

I dialed the familiar number and waited for the answering "hello."

"I'm sorry about last night," was the first thing I said when he answered the phone.

"It's okay, love. I understand."

I smiled and welcomed the acceleration of my heart rate. "Emmett and I are headed home right now. I'm pretty sure we'll be there soon."

Edward laughed. "Oh, yes. My brother kidnapped you this morning. He didn't do anything too terrible, did he?"

I laughed, too, and glanced over at my brother. "No, nothing terrible at all. We had a nice talk, actually."

"I'm glad to hear that."

I smiled. "Me too. I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Bella. I'll see you when you get home."

"Yes," I said. "See you when I get home."

**Fin.**


End file.
